


The art of tasseography

by TheKingParrot



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-01-20 17:56:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 36,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKingParrot/pseuds/TheKingParrot
Summary: I originally wrote the first chapter of this multi-chapter story for the 'Lallybroch Library Scavenger Hunt as a 'one off''.  After many comments and messages asking me to continue the story, I have come up with a canon divergent concept that I think (hope!) will work.  I hope you will enjoy it.





	1. Books and tea leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellen Fraser meets Frank and Claire Randall.

 

 

 

 

_Lallybroch Library_ wasn’t a large depository of books but included on its stout wooden shelves were some rare antique tomes containing details of the activities of the Fraser clan in the battles leading up to Culloden in April 1746.

Ellen Fraser took great care of the books for which she felt responsible. She wanted to preserve these precious books, retain the patina of age and guarantee their future.  She regarded the books as others might admire a valuable piece of antique furniture or an old family portrait.  Her box of tools contained soft, lint-free cloths to gently wipe the books, particularly the more valuable volumes with gold leaf on their covers.  She also had a few small, soft toothbrushes to gently clean the spines of the books and some dirt erasers to gently wipe pages clean.  And she  _never_ used white gloves on the antiquarian books – which is why she was standing her ground with Dr Frank Randall.

Frank Randall had come to Lallybroch to refer to some of the books in Ellen’s care.  She found him quite humourless, even stuffy, and when he’d taken his white gloves from his briefcase, he had the look of a smug academic who knew the secrets of librarians.  And he didn’t appreciate Ellen correcting him: “At my university college in  _Oxford_ ” (he placed emphasis on Oxford, seemingly to give himself some badge of importance) “we always use white gloves to avoid damage” he told her in a somewhat snooty tone.

Not to be outdone, Ellen produced a small booklet from the British Library discounting the use of gloves when handling aged books.  In fact, it explained that the use of gloves was a recent development and could cause damage to the aging paper.

Dr Randall’s wife, Claire, watched as Frank and Ellen faced off, neither of them prepared to give way. It was Claire who suggested: “Frank, it’s clear that Ellen takes great care with the books for which she’s a custodian.  I think she knows what she’s doing.”

Frank looked at her with disdain: “Claire, I’m a history professor.  Please don’t undermine me.”

Claire felt a lump in her throat, but continued: “Frank, the books belong to the Fraser family not Oxford University. I think we should respect the family’s wishes.”

Frank threw his gloves back in his briefcase, making it clear that he would comply with Ellen’s wishes even though  _he_ was right.  Ellen found the volumes he wanted to refer to, laid them on the oak table in the centre of the library and suggested that she and Claire go into the kitchen for a cup of tea and a slice of cake.

Keen to overcome the discomfort created by Frank’s pomposity, Claire admired the beautiful Aga stove and the old pine dresser, covered with vintage china.  Ellen enjoyed pointing out her favourite pieces, and the two women discovered that they shared a love of Oolong tea.  Ellen made a large pot of their favourite brew and suggested Claire drink her tea so that she could read the leaves for her.

As they drank their tea, Ellen told Claire that reading the leaves, or tasseography, had been an art form in the Mackenzie family for generations: “Even if I say so myself, my dear, I am really rather good at it.”

Claire drank her tea and handed her cup to Ellen: “Tell me all. Don’t hold back”, she smiled.

Ellen looked closely at the leaves.  A slight frown appeared on her face: “Well, that’s a most unusual pattern. Where did you say you were from Claire?”

“I’m from Oxfordshire, Ellen.  My maiden name was Beauchamp”, Claire replied.

“And you’ve never been to Scotland before?”, Ellen asked.

“No, never”, Claire replied.  “Why do you ask?”

“Well, according to the leaves, your Past, Near Future and Distant Future all have the same pattern. That’s most unusual.  I’ve never seen or heard of it before”, Ellen explained. “And there’s …”

Ellen didn’t complete her sentence.  Frank appeared in the doorway: “Can both of you come into the library please?  I’ve found something quite extraordinary that I want you both to see.”

Ellen and Claire followed Frank into the library.  Open on the table was a book with a portrait of a man in full Scottish regalia and a woman in mid-eighteenth-century dress.

“Claire, this woman looks remarkably like you”, Frank said.  He turned to Ellen: “Who are these people Mrs Fraser?”

“You’re looking at James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser, Lord Broch Tuarach also known as Red Jamie, and his Sassenach wife, Claire, Lady Broch Tuarach”, Ellen said in amazement.

She heard the front door and a voice called out: “Ma, I’m home”.

Ellen smiled: “That’ll be my son, James.”


	2. Chasing faerie tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Randalls meet Jamie Fraser. Ellen Fraser invites Claire to return to Lallybroch for lunch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When James Fraser walked into the library, Frank was stunned: “Well, I’ll be damned.  Red Jamie reincarnated.  It’s incredible.”  He walked over and introduced himself: “I’m Dr Frank Randall, here to do some research in the library.”

“And I’m Jamie Fraser, the youngest child of Ellen who ye must’ve met already.”  He turned to Claire: “Good afternoon, ye must be Claire.”

“I didn’t tell you my name.  How did you know?”, Claire asked in a puzzled tone.

“I think ye must’ve, how else would I have known?” he smiled.

Claire found the tall, redheaded Scot a tad perplexing.  She’d never been to Scotland before, and she’d never met him, but there was a familiarity about his gait, his smile and his speech.  Still, she thought, there are plenty of redheaded Scots in England with a similar brogue.

Frank looked at his watch: “Really, is that the time?  I promised to join Reverend Wakefield for afternoon tea.  We must be going, Claire.”  Frank began to gather his notes and papers together, preparing to leave. 

Ellen Fraser had a sense of unfinished business with Claire: “Mrs Randall, would you like to come back for lunch tomorrow?  I’d very much like to show you some of the family portraits.  Maybe read some tea leaves again?”

Frank thought that was a wonderful idea.  He was planning to spend the following day with the Reverend Wakefield and thought Claire might be a bit bored.  His gatherings with other history buffs often lasted an entire day or more, and Claire could become restless.  If she had something else to occupy her, he and the Reverend would cover much more material.

“I can pick ye up from yer lodgings, Claire”, Jamie offered.  “Bring ye back to Lallybroch in time for lunch.  I have some business in town  tomorrow morning.  Say 11 o’clock?”

“Well, that would be lovely.  I’ll look forward to it.  We’re staying in the bed and breakfast – Mrs Baird’s.  I’ll wait by the front door”, Claire suggested.  It was arranged.

After the Randalls had left, Ellen showed Jamie the portrait of Red Jamie and his wife: “The likeness between Claire Randall and Red Jamie’s wife is remarkable, is it not?”  Ellen watched as Jamie studied the old portrait. 

“Aye, isn’t she the one who disappeared around the time of Culloden, never to be seen again?” Jamie asked.

“It’s said she could have made it to France.  There was a rumour that she had family there, but some argue that she couldna have got on a boat across the Channel.  The English had just about cut off contact between Scotland and France to stop the French helping the Jacobite cause.  I want to talk to her about her family, Jamie.  The likeness is remarkable.  Maybe it was a member of her family who was married to Red Jamie”, Ellen told him.

“It seems unlikely that she would be named Claire too”, Jamie said.

“Jamie, no-one had told ye her name.  How did ye know?” Ellen asked.

“Ye must be mistaken Ma”, Jamie smiled.

“Jamie, ye knew.  Had ye met her before?” Ellen asked.

“I thought she was familiar in some way.  I’ll ask her tomorrow.  There must be some explanation Ma.  Don’t ye go chasing faerie stories, much as ye love to”, he teased.

While Jamie went to secure the horses in the stable for the night, Ellen returned to the cup containing the tea leaves she had read for Claire.  She returned to the study, grabbed her iPad and took a photograph of the unusual pattern.  She knew several other practitioners of the art of tasseography who would consider this an interesting reading.  And they loved faerie stories as much as she.  Something was eating at her over the Sassenach lasses – the one in the portrait and the one she had met today.

When Jamie returned to wash up before dinner, he found Ellen in the library making notes about Red Jamie: “What are ye doing Ma?  Do you want me to start preparing the dinner?” Jamie asked.

“That would be grand, son.  I just want to refresh my memory about Red Jamie and his wife before I talk to Claire Randall tomorrow”, Ellen replied without looking up from her beloved books.

Jamie rolled his eyes: “Ye’re like a dog wi’ a bone when it comes to family history Ma.  Next thing ye’ll be in the family graveyard looking for clues.  Just remember they’re all dead, _the dead know nothing.  They have no further reward, because the memory of them is forgotten.”_

Ellen looked over her reading glasses at her son.  “Dinna quote the bible at me, James Fraser.  Ye havena stepped in a church in many a year.  Baptisms, weddings and funerals – in fact ye havena been to many of those of late.”

Jamie laughed and headed for the kitchen to see which vegetables he could find for dinner.  He knew Ellen would be some time with her reading and scribbles.  And he puzzled about how he had known Claire Randall’s name.  

As he was checking the fridge for what they might eat for dinner, a faint voice rang in his head: “I, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, take thee James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser …”  He looked around.  There was no one else in the room.  “Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp” he muttered.  Where the hell had that name come from?  Was that Claire Randall’s maiden name?  And if so, how did he suddenly know it?

He started peeling and chopping carrots, telling himself aloud: “Ye’re losing yer mind, Jamie Fraser”.  Ellen was behind him: “Ye do know that speaking to yerself is the first sign of madness, don’t ye Jamie?”

“Aye.  The second sign is growing hair on yer palms, is it not?” Jamie said as he turned his palm upward.  No hair, that was reassuring. 

“And Ma, did Claire Randall tell ye her maiden name?”, Jamie asked.

“It was like the name of the cold and flu powder – that’s it, Beecham”, Ellen recalled.

“Interesting”, said Jamie.


	3. Curiouser and curiouser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she ventured into Wonderland, Alice found things became "curiouser and curiouser". Claire is having a similar experience at 'Lallybroch' with the Frasers.

 

 

 

 

 

The following day, Claire was waiting outside Mrs Baird’s B&B as arranged.  Jamie pulled up outside, jumped out of the driver’s seat and opened the passenger door for Claire: “Good morning Claire.  Good to see ye” he smiled.

Claire climbed in and buckled up her safety belt, then watched as Jamie lowered his long body into the driver's seat.  They were off to _Lallybroch._

“Ma tells me that yer maiden name was Beecham – like the cold and flu powders”, Jamie said in an attempt to make conversation and understand the voice he had heard the previous night.

“Yes, that’s the way it’s pronounced but it’s spelt Beau-champ” Claire replied, giving her former surname more of a French ring.  “My full name was Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp before I married.”

Jamie paused to wonder how on earth he could have known that before she even told him, but he did.  He felt a bit weirded out.  It also registered that he and Ellen had spoken of Lady Broch Tuarach supposedly having French family connections.  Beauchamp, when pronounced as she had just enunciated it, had a distinctly French air to it.  This was all a bit odd.

When they arrived at _Lallybroch_ , Ellen had been busy baking – quiche, garlic potato bake and veg followed by a scrumptious fruit flan and cream.

“Ellen, that was a wonderful meal.  Thank you so much”, Claire said wiping her mouth with her serviette.

“Thank ye Claire.  I’d still like to look at that portrait of Lady Broch Tuarach and talk to ye about yer likeness to her.  Do ye think ye could be a descendant of hers?” Ellen asked.

“I’ve no idea Ellen.  As I told you, I’ve never been to Scotland before and I’m not aware of any Scottish connections” Claire replied.

“Aye, but it’s rumoured that Lady Broch Tuarach had French family connections and the way ye pronounced yer name Beau-champ is quite different to what Ma had told me – Beecham”, Jamie interjected.

Ellen was surprised.  It seemed Jamie had really been listening to her theories.

Ellen continued: “By all accounts, Claire Fraser disappeared around the time of Culloden and some believe she escaped to France.  Were your family in France in the mid-18th century Claire?”.

“Not that I’m aware of.  My parents died when I was quite young, so I haven’t had the opportunity to discuss family connections with them”, Claire told them.  “When you say she disappeared, is there no record of her returning?”

“None that I can find”, Ellen answered.  “Neither she nor James are buried in the family graveyard, nor are there any children from the marriage as far as I can ascertain.”

“How about his sister Jenny and her family?” Claire asked.

Ellen looked confused: “His sister’s name was Janet, not Jenny.”

Claire nonchalantly said: “Yes, but everyone called her Jenny and her eldest son was always referred to as _Wee Jamie_ so he wasn’t confused with his uncle.”

Jamie and Ellen looked at one another in surprise.  Jamie asked: “How could ye know that?  We didn’t know that, and Ma’s read everything she can find.”

Claire sat back in her dining chair: “You know, I have no idea.  It was somewhere in the depths of my memory, which is weird because I’m not aware of ever being told anything of her.”

Ellen was now becoming both excited and intrigued: “Come and look at some of the family portraits, Claire.”

Ellen, Claire and Jamie climbed the staircase and walked along the upstairs landing.  It was lined with old portraits of Frasers from previous generations.  Claire stopped in front of one portrait of a man she estimated was in his 40s.  He had dark hair, a serious face yet a glint in his eye, and a thick beard.  He was wearing the Fraser tartan.  Claire stopped in front of the portrait and smiled: “Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser.  What a wonderful likeness.”  Her eyes sparkled at Jamie as she glanced in his direction: “He looks so dour but in reality, he was such a loyal and wonderful friend, wasn’t he?”

Jamie smiled fondly at her: “Aye, that he was.”,

Ellen stood back and watched as Jamie and Claire gazed at one another affectionately for several seconds, then looked away with confused expressions. She checked the small plate at the base of the portrait.  It read “Murtagh Fraser” – the name Fitzgibbons didn’t appear.  “Curiouser and curiouser, as Lewis Carroll wrote”, she mumbled under her breath.

“Let’s make a pot of tea”, Ellen suggested.  The three of them descended the stairs in silence and sat at the kitchen table as the kettle boiled on the Aga stove.  Finally, Jamie spoke: “Claire, I’ve no idea what is going on here but ye seem to know things about our family that I dinna understand.  And I knew yer name before ye or anyone else told me what it was.  I’m always telling Ma off for reaching conclusions without any proof but now it’s like we have proof of something but we dinna know what conclusion to reach.”

Ellen opened her iPad to reveal the results of Claire’s tasseography reading the day before: “Claire, when I read yer tea leaves yesterday, it showed a pattern I’d never seen before.  Ye’ll observe that the tea leaves are scattered over the cup in apparent confusion, but as a seer I can see that they form lines, circles, dots, small groups and figures. I see a lover who appears in the past and the near future, but not the present. Usually, I can see a pattern for the phases of someone’s life, but with ye it was different.  Ye have a past, a current and a future life but there’s no connection between the three.  It’s as if ye’ve lived two lives already and there’s a third to come but somehow they’re all separate yet somehow related.  It’s a mystery to me.”

“Maybe I should learn more about tasseography too”, Jamie said seriously.  Ellen was amazed: “Well, I canna believe ye’re interested in the art, Jamie.  Ye usually dismiss it. But if ye drink a cuppa, we’ll see what the leaves show about ye.”

Jamie smiled: “Alright Ma, let’s do it while Claire’s here.  I promise not to mock ye.”

Ellen made a large pot of Oolong tea and Claire poured it into three cups.  They chatted and drank their brew.  When Jamie had finished his cup, Ellen took it from him and studied it at length.

“Ma, are ye _ever_ gonna tell us what ye see?” Jamie laughed impatiently.

“Aye, but I want a second seer’s opinion”, Ellen said.  She had paled and was looking pensive.

“Why?” Claire asked. 

“Because Jamie’s reading shows 3 past lives, a current life and a near future life.  I see a lover who appears in one of the past lives and the near future and their name begins with the letter C.”


	4. Metempsychosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tasseography and Metempsychosis: Things are becoming verra complicated indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ellen’s reading left Claire and Jamie astounded yet confused.  Assuming her reading was accurate – what did it mean?

Ellen rang a friend and fellow tasseography devotee to ask if she could interpret the two readings for her.  She photographed Jamie’s reading and forwarded it to her with Claire’s.  While they waited for her response, Jamie took Claire for a walk which included the family graveyard.  Some of the gravestones had weathered considerably over the centuries, rendering them illegible.  Others, protected by trees and shrubs, were in better condition.  There was one relatively recent stone.  Claire saw Jamie look at it with sadness: “Is this the grave of your father?” she asked as she approached him.

“Aye.  He died four years ago.  That left Ma alone in the house.  Willie was in London and I was living in Edinburgh.  I moved back so she didna have to be alone.  Been here ever since. The only way she’ll leave is to come here and lie with Da.”

“I’m sorry.  Ellen must have been devastated”, Claire said sympathetically.

“She was.  She still is” Jamie replied.

Claire continued moving amongst the gravestones, stopping at one of the older tablets to the rear of the graveyard. She could only decipher some of the words engraved on the stone:  

_Janet Fraser Murray, born 1719, and Ian Alastair Robert MacLeod Murray, born 1720 are buried here._

Claire had no idea why she was crying, but she felt Jamie’s arm slip around her waist and leaned in to him: “I wonder how they died and what became of their children and grandchildren. I hope they had peaceful deaths.”

“If ye ask Ma, she’ll be able to give ye some information about them.  She’s a walking text book on the history of _Lallybroch”,_ Jamie replied softly.  He kept his arm around Claire for some time.  It somehow felt right, and Claire made no effort to pull away from him.  They only moved when they heard Ellen calling for them to come inside.

When they reached the house, Ellen was pleased to announce that her fellow seer had made the same interpretation as her despite not knowing what Ellen had concluded.  She was clearly quite delighted.

“That’s all well and good Ma, but where do we go from here?  I mean, ye’ve only scratched the surface”, Jamie asked.

“Well, Mrs Graham has suggested she contact a chap she knows.  He’s a doctor and a surgeon, but he also uses hypnosis to anaesthetise his patients for minor procedures.  He’s worked as a surgeon in Nepal and India, where they often didn’t have access to anaesthetic”, Ellen told them excitedly.

“Yes, I’ve seen hypnosis used successfully with people who couldn’t bear needles.  But neither of us need surgery, Ellen.  What’s the purpose of hypnosis for us?” Claire said looking puzzled.

Ellen donned her spectacles and looked at the scrap of paper she held in her hand: “Metempsychosis”.  She had difficulty pronouncing it.  Mrs Graham had spelt it out to her.

“And what the hell is metempsychosis?”, Jamie said with a questioning smile.

“I’m going to look it up right now”, Ellen replied as she headed for her iPad.  She entered the magic word into a Safari search and read out the definition: “the supposed transmigration at death of the soul of a human being or animal into a new body of the same or a different species.”

Claire looked at Ellen with astonishment: “Ellen, isn’t that the definition of reincarnation?”

“Well, I suppose it could be”, Ellen smiled.  “Claire, are you interested?  If you are, I’ll invite him to _Lallybroch_ to discuss it.  I think it would be fascinating, but are ye able to stay in Scotland a while longer?”

“Well, Frank is leaving from Glasgow to go to America for an interview tomorrow evening.  He’s been short-listed for a job at Yale.  I was going to return to London by train, but I suppose I could stay on a little longer”, Claire told them.

“Good, that’s settled.  When Frank leaves, you can stay here at _Lallybroch_ and we’ll get this Dr Denzell Hunter to talk to us.  This is _so exciting”,_ she enthused. 

Jamie watched as Ellen started buzzing around the house, preparing for Claire to be their guest: “I havena seen her this excited since Da died, Claire.  I canna believe all this began with ye having a cup of tea with her.  She’ll be talking about this for months.”

“Well, looks like I just offered myself up for a hypnotic experiment. How do you feel about hypnosis Jamie?  Are you comfortable with being placed in a hypnotic trance?”, Claire asked.

“Ye wouldna expect me to be less bold than a wee Sassenach lassie now, would ye?, Jamie replied with a half-smile and a glint in his bright blue eyes.

As he walked away, Claire sensed a certain familiarity with that voice and that statement but dismissed it as déjà vu.  She didn’t have time to dwell on it, as she heard Ellen calling her.

Ellen was calling to Claire to come upstairs.  Claire followed the sound of her voice, eventually reaching a room at the end of the landing.  It was a large room, with an ornate wooden mantel over the fireplace.  The antique four-poster bed was beautifully carved.  There was a large, leadlight window looking out over the grounds.  What struck Claire was the beautiful blue on the walls, the blue antique highbacked armchairs and the rugs on the floors.  The sight of the room tugged at her heart.

“I keep this room for special guests, Claire.  It’s the Laird’s room.  I’m in the room next door and Jamie is just across the corridor if ye need anything, or if ye think ye hear a ghost”, she laughed.  “I’m sure ye’ll find it very comfortable. I’m so glad ye’ll be staying wi’ us.  I feel like I’ve known ye all my life – or at least all _yer_ life.”

“It’s beautiful Ellen.  Thank you so much for inviting me.  I think this must be where Lord and Lady Broch Tuarach slept hundreds of years ago.  It has a wonderful aura about it.  I feel like there’s been a lot of love in this room” Claire said looking around.

“I think ye’re right Claire, but also a great deal of sadness.  It’s said that around the time Lady Broch Tuarach disappeared there was a great deal of grief.  That, combined with all the chaos and troubles after Culloden, brought hard times.  It’s written that more at _Lallybroch_ would have perished if Lady Broch Tuarach hadn’t suggested they plant a crop”, Ellen told her.

“Potatoes?” Claire asked.

“Aye, it was actually.  How did ye know?” Ellen said with surprise.

“Just a guess”, Claire replied.

Claire stood at the window looking out.  There were some strong emotions in this room, feelings of love but also loss.  When she looked to her side, Jamie was standing in the doorway staring at her.  Their eyes met briefly, and she felt a certain tenderness in his look, before he turned and moved away.


	5. Dr Denzell Hunter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denzell Hunter arrives at 'Lallybroch'.
> 
> I would like to acknowledge the following web sites as sources for some of the information in this chapter:  
> www.psychologytoday.com and http://www.swedenborgstudy.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Frank was about to land in the States when Jamie arrived at the B&B to collect Claire and her luggage.  She had struggled down the stairs with her bag, but he lifted it and placed it in the boot as if it were feather light.  Ellen had taken her car to collect Denzell Hunter from the railway station, so the house was empty on their return. 

Jamie carried her bag up to the Laird’s room and placed it on the bed.

“Why don’t you or Ellen sleep in this room Jamie?” Claire asked.  “It’s such a beautiful room.”

“There’s something about it that makes me uncomfortable.  I canna describe it.  Anyway, Ma likes to keep it for special visitors.  Ye should consider it quite an honour that she offered it to ye.  She’s very fond of ye, Claire.  Ye’ve brought some happiness into the house and given her a renewed interest in things.  Thank ye”, Jamie said with sincerity. 

“Well, this is interesting history.  Frank’s pursuit of crumbling documents and military history can get very dull.  I’ve little interest in details of battles and how many men died on each side.  This is more human and personal.  And I get to drink tea!” Claire laughed.

Jamie looked at her, clearly wondering whether to ask something: “Claire, how do ye feel about moving to America?  I can see Yale would be a big draw for Frank, but is it what ye want?”

Claire was taken aback: “You know Jamie, I don’t think Frank’s ever asked me whether I _want_ to go.  He’s just assumed that I would want to do whatever he wants, or whatever’s good for him.  I suppose I’ve allowed him to do that.  Rather like when we got married, he just made the arrangements, bought a ring and presented it as a _fait accomplit._ ”

“I canna imagine doing that at all”, he said with surprise.  “Not that it’s been an issue with me.  I havena found someone I would want to marry yet, but if I did, I’d like to think she had _some_ say in the matter.”

There was a brief silence as Claire considered, possibly for the first time, how presumptuous Frank was about her, their marriage – well, everything.  She had been young at the time they married – considerably younger than Frank.  Had she been too malleable?  Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of car doors closing downstairs.

“That must be Ma and Dr Hunter”, Jamie said.  “Let’s go meet this man who’s going to delve into our minds.”

After their introductions, Ellen made everyone a drink and served a light lunch.  Denzell Hunter was fascinated by Ellen’s tasseography readings, and the confirmation of her findings by another seer.  He was also interested in hearing of Claire’s knowledge of Jenny, despite never having met her or read of her prior to her visit to _Lallybroch._ Jamie’s seeming knowledge of Claire’s name without being introduced also intrigued him.

Denzell was an interesting man.  He seemed to be open to what others may consider to be nothing more than coincidence or chance.  He explained that he had been raised as a Quaker but had since worked in a number of countries where the population were predominantly Hindu or Buddhist.  Reincarnation was an essential part of these religions, and their followers were more receptive to the idea of metempsychosis.

He explained: “There are two main kinds of evidence of reincarnation or metempsychosis.  The first is the evidence of birth marks in young children, believed to stem from a matching recently-deceased person.  The second comes from hypnotic regressions, in which a subject under hypnosis is "taken back" to relive his or her past lives. Often a great deal of historical evidence is produced that cannot be plausibly only invented; realistic names may be given; and unusual languages may be spoken fluently. Sometimes these pieces of evidence are spontaneously recalled.  The second is the one I have specialised in, as I had already utilised hypnosis in my work as a doctor and surgeon.”

Jamie squirmed a little in his chair at the mention of birth marks and Ellen gave him a knowing look.  Claire noticed the exchange but was distracted by Denzell talking.

He told the Frasers and Claire: “I have seen and heard evidence that there are close to us beings who have lived in the past and in whose memory there are descriptions of past ages and sometimes past languages. Those memories are not active, so there is no interference with the current life. Sometimes, however, there is some ‘leakage’ of that memory into the current consciousness of an individual on earth, and, then, strange voices or memories from past lives appear that he or she attributes to his own past life.”

jamie said nothing, but recalled the voice he had heard when alone in the kitchen - was that a memory from a past life?

Ellen was fascinated: “Denzell, why might that leakage occur?  Does something prompt it?”

Denzell considered his reply carefully: “From my experience, it may be prompted by a specific place, an object, a person – a wide variety of stimuli.  You’ve given me a few examples which are interesting, but I would prefer to see what is awakened during hypnotic sessions, when the current individual’s mind is quieted.  The minds of the spirits may then be aroused to think of their own previous lives.”

There was a pause in the conversation as everyone considered what Denzell had said.

“What does it feel like to be hypnotised Denzell?  I’ve seen it used in medical settings, but I’ve never experienced it myself”, Claire asked.

“It’s like falling asleep but you won’t lose conscious awareness. You can hear and sense things around you, but your eyes are closed, you’re not moving, just comfortably relaxed. Amazing things happen when you relax on purpose. You should notice that your breathing slows down. There is a sense of distance from where you are, the passage of time gets distorted and often you feel a pleasant, almost euphoric state of peace.  There are many strange sensations a person can have during a trance which can only happen under hypnosis; none of these can cause you any harm or pain. Remember, that you cannot be hypnotized against your will, it works only if you agree to let it happen.  How much comes of the hypnosis depends on the skill of the hypnotist.  As I’m rather tired after my journey, perhaps I could take a nap and then we can see how receptive you are to hyposis later today”, Denzell replied.

“What a wonderful idea Denzell” Ellen replied.  “Let me show ye to yer room.  There’s fresh towels if ye’d like a wash or bath.”

Jamie took Denzell’s bag to his room while Ellen fussed around him, ensuring he had everything he needed.  Claire put the kettle on for another cup of tea.  She’d never expected tea leaves to lead to this.

When Jamie returned, he was carrying a case containing a video camera: “Denzell wants to record our hypnosis sessions, Claire.  He said some people speak foreign languages whilst in a trance and it can take a while to translate all they’ve said.  Do ye speak any other languages?”

“No.  English is my one and only.  How about you?” she asked.

“A wee bit of Gaidhlig but naught else.  I’m going to set this up in the library.  Do ye want to be first?  I'm happy for ye to choose to go first or last” he inquired.

“I really don’t mind.  You can choose”, she replied.  “Do you expect anything to come of this Jamie?”

“I’ve an open mind.  If ye’d asked me that a week ago, I would have laughed at ye but I’m a wee bit curious about a few things that’ve been said these past few days.  We’ll see eh?”

Claire realised that Jamie had asked her what she wanted to do.  Frank would have taken control of the situation (and her).

Jamie set up the video camera and tested it, with a little help from Claire.  Ellen busied herself in the kitchen, waiting for Denzell to wake and the voyage of discovery to begin.  She heard a beep from Claire's phone and called to let her know she probably had an SMS. 

Claire opened the message and exclaimed: "Oh Christ". 

Ellen was looking on: "Is everything alright Claire?"

"Frank's been offered the job at Yale already.  He wants me to pack everything up and join him there, as he plans to start immediately.  No doubt a long list of instructions will follow telling me what he wants done in fine detail", she said wearily.

Ellen put her arm around Claire's shoulders: "Claire, is this what you want?  You don't look at all pleased about it my dear."

"What I want doesn't come into it Ellen.  Frank takes precedence in everything.  He's an ambitious man who expects me to bask in his reflected glory.  I'm afraid it's become more like living in his shadow", Claire told her.

Ellen was hugging Claire when Jamie walked into the kitchen.  He looked at Ellen holding Claire: "Is everything alright? he asked with concern.

"Frank got the job but Claire has reservations", Ellen told him.  "With good reason."


	6. Mo nighean donn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it possible that Denzell's hypnotic session with Jamie has stimulated some memories of a past life?
> 
> The next chapter will be a longer one, bringing together both Jamie and Claire's memories from past lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As she was wont to do, Ellen filled the kettle and placed it on the stove.  She prepared to make a strong cup of Oolong, the solution to all problems.

Jamie sat at the kitchen table with Claire: “What worries ye about moving to America, Claire?” he asked.

“Well, at the moment I go to work at the hospital and when I come home, I do all the usual things – prepare meals, washing, cleaning.  But I have some good friends who live quite close by.  If Frank is away or working into the night, I can visit them or they may pop round to see me.  I don’t know anyone in America and it’s doubtful I’ll be able to work, at least for a while.  I think it could be a solitary existence with my only socialising revolving around Frank’s job”, she explained.

“And yer family?” Ellen asked.

“I was orphaned quite young and then raised by my uncle.  He’s passed away too now.  I have no family” she replied.

“Claire, do ye mind if I’m totally honest?” Ellen asked.

“Not at all.  It’s the only way, isn’t it?” Claire smiled.

“I thought Frank was a prig.  The only thing I like about the man is his wife – and I like you very much.  If you go to America, I fear ye will have burned yer bridges” Ellen said.

Jamie was laughing behind his hand: “Tell us how ye really feel Ma!  As ye can see Claire, Ma doesna mince her words.  For what it’s worth, I agree though.  Ye’re a breath of fresh air and he’s a stuffy snob and I canna for the life of me see how yer marriage is working for ye.  I can see how it’s working for him – but no’ ye.”

Claire sat in stunned silence.  She had known the Frasers for a matter of days, and they had come to the same conclusion as her best friend and colleague, Joe.  Joe was one of the reasons she was reluctant to leave and their descriptions of Frank matched Joe’s almost word for word.

“I’m not sure the marriage always works for him Jamie.  I’m not nearly as sophisticated as Frank and his little group of academics at the University” Claire smiled.

“Claire, ye’re a beautiful woman with a genuine personality and ye’re kind.  Ye deserve to be treated with love and respect and if Frank canna give ye that, ye’ll find someone who will.  I know ye will, believe me”, Jamie said feeling a little self-conscious.

They were drinking tea and eating biscuits when Denzell emerged from his room, looking rested.  He joined them in the kitchen, drank a cuppa and then announced: “Right.  Let’s begin.  We will probably only fit in one session today, so who’s going first?”

Claire looked at Jamie: “Jamie.  I’m feeling preoccupied.  Would you mind going first?”

“That’s fine.  We’re in the library Denzell.  This way”, Jamie and Denzell closed the door behind them, while Ellen and Claire cleaned the kitchen and waited.

As time went by, Claire noticed that Ellen was looking anxious.  She’d heard Jamie’s raised voice through the heavy oak door and the sounds of fluent Gàidhlig, which surprised her. She assured Claire that Jamie spoke a little basic Gàidhlig but wasn’t fluent. It was just over two hours later when the library door opened, and Denzell emerged: “Jamie’s just resting after the session.  It was an emotional journey for him, and for me too.  I’ve told him to remain on the couch until he feels ready.  He's unlikely to remember much of the detail. I'm hoping you can translate the language he spoke some of the time, Ellen.  I think it might be Gàidhlig?”

Ellen confirmed that she should be able to interpret much of it as it was, indeed, Gàidhlig.

Claire could see Ellen was tempted to tiptoe in and check on Jamie, but she respected Denzell’s advice.

When Jamie did appear, he looked quite relaxed but tired.  He joined them for dinner but soon after told them: “I’m feeling weary.  I think I’ll have an early night.”  He disappeared upstairs.

Denzell didn’t want to speak too much about the session.  He said he would prefer to hypnotise Claire before talking to them about what had been revealed, as it might influence Claire’s session, which brought a look of surprise to Ellen’s face.  He also wanted to watch the video of Jamie’s session with Ellen before hypnotising Claire to translate the Gàidhlig.

Claire cleaned the dishes while Denzell and Ellen reviewed the video of Jamie, then she chose a book from the library and readied for bed.  It was quite late when she turned off the bedside light and rested her head on the pillow.  She was almost asleep when she heard a muffled cry.  She stepped onto the landing and realised that the cries were coming from Jamie’s room.  The door was ajar, and she peeped in.  His bedside light was still on and she could see that he was sweating, restless and muttering.  Concerned that he might be fevered, she tiptoed over to his bed.  As a floorboard creaked, his eyes opened.  She thought he wasn’t fully conscious.  He looked at her, standing there in her nightie with her curly hair around her face, and his hand rose to take her arm: “ _Mo nighean donn_ , I found ye.  Come lie with me – please I need to touch ye.” I’ve been looking for ye as I promised." He had a firm grip on her arm, so she laid on the bed next to him.  He held her close and wept on her shoulder. 

She whispered quietly: “I’m here now. You can sleep. All is safe.”

He held her firmly in his arms, so that she was unable to move, and drifted into a deep sleep.  Claire lay there and felt his body relax.  His anxious look was replaced by a gentle smile as he snuggled into her.  She had an irresistible urge to kiss his mouth and felt his warm, soft lips on hers.  It felt somehow familiar.  He looked so peaceful, she didn’t want to wake him by wrenching his arms from her, so she stayed where she was and floated off to sleep.

Early the following morning, Jamie stirred in his sleep.  He was surprised to find that he couldn’t move his arm, and then realised the weight on it was Claire lying across him.  He gasped and wondered how on earth she had ended up in his bed, but he didn’t wake her.  He smiled when he looked at her peaceful grin and the curls around her face.  He gently tucked a stray curl behind her ear and felt her burrow into his shoulder.  He thought he should have felt shocked at her presence, but he somehow felt comfortable and untroubled.  He kissed the top of her head and drifted back to sleep.

The sound of a barking dog woke them both in the morning.  Claire opened her eyes to see Jamie looking directly at her: “I’ve no idea how ye ended up in my bed Claire, but ye seem to have slept well and so did I” he smiled.

Claire pulled back a little: “Oh my.  How embarrassing.  You were sweating and muttering in the night and I came to check on you Jamie.  I thought you were running a fever.  You held on to me and called me _‘mo nighean donn_ ’, whatever that means.  You said a few other things then fell asleep holding me.  I didn’t want to wake you up.  I’m sorry.”

Jamie laughed: “Don’t be sorry.  I’m not.  It was rather nice to wake in the wee hours and find ye in my bed.  Ye’re a wee hot water bottle Claire.  Ye’d make a good teddy bear too.  And _mo nighean donn_ means ‘my brown-haired lass’.”

Still looking nervous, Claire stood up: “I think I’ll get a towel and have a shower.  My turn for hypnosis today.”  She shuffled out of Jamie’s room, looking back to see him full of mirth.  In her nightie, Jamie could see her curvaceous figure to full advantage.  He wouldn’t mind a repeat performance. 

Claire popped her head back round the door: “You won’t tell Ellen, will you?  She’ll think I’m a loose woman.”

“No, I willna mention it to Ma” Jamie reassured her.  As she left, he thought he wouldn’t mind if she was a bit loose – but only with him.  He was also curious as to what he might have said beside ‘ _mo nighean donn’_ – indeed, why he’d said that at all.  It wasn’t an expression he would commonly use.


	7. A remarkable jigsaw puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denzell Hunter completes the hypnosis session with Claire and gives a summary of what he has discovered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Neither Denzell nor Ellen commented on the video of Jamie’s session over breakfast.  Jamie asked if and when he might view it, and Denzell suggested he wait until Claire had been hypnotised. 

By lunchtime, Claire’s session was complete.  The four of them ate lunch together, with Denzell promising to reveal what he had found that afternoon.  Then Claire and Jamie could watch the videos if they wished.  Ellen was clearly bursting to know what Claire had revealed, having already seen Jamie’s video.

Denzell sat them down and prepared them for his summary: “It’s difficult to know where to start with this.  It has to be the most amazing event in my personal history of hypnosis and metempsychosis, and I think you should be prepared for some surprising revelations.  I hope you won’t be too shocked, but if you are you can watch your videos and reflect on my findings”. 

“Ellen helped me with the interpretation of your utterings in Gàidhlig, Jamie.  I was able to struggle through the parts of Jamie and Claire’s sessions which were in French”, Denzell told them.

“I don’t speak French”, Jamie and Claire told him almost in unison.

“Not in this incarnation, but you both did in the past”, Denzell smiled.

“Jamie, Ellen found three past lives in your tasseography reading – yes?” Denzell said seeking confirmation.

“Aye, that’s right” Jamie responded.

“Well, you have used a great many names in one or more of your incarnations: Fraser, McTavish, Mac Dubh, Red Jamie, Alexander Malcolm, and Dunbonnet were all mentioned but appeared to all be used within one lifetime, centred around the mid-eighteenth century and Culloden. I know it was a period of prolonged conflict in Scotland and it seems your changes of name were designed to protect you from the authorities at that time.”

Ellen nodded her head in agreement: “Dreadful times in Scotland” she muttered.

“You were married twice in that lifetime.  One of those marriages was very happy but ended abruptly and you were deeply affected by the loss of your wife – but she didn’t die.  I’ll come back to that.  Your second marriage was brief and unhappy.  It seems you didn’t marry out of love but under pressure from others who thought it would help you get over your first wife, which it didn’t.  You made reference to marrying to appease your sister, Jenny, in particular.  There was a third encounter which I didn’t fully understand, but it seems you were not in love with that woman – she did, however, bear you a son with whom you had a fractured relationship.  That woman died in childbirth.”

“Now, I’ll return to your first wife.  She seems to have appeared in your life quite suddenly and had a dramatic impact on you.  You loved her very much and she loved you too.  You seem to have had a number of names for her: Sassenach, _mo nighean donn_ and _mo chidre_ , to name a few.”

Claire and Jamie looked at one another in shock and amazement: _mo nighean donn._ The name Jamie had used the previous night.

“Ellen has told me that the two Gàidhlig names mean “brown haired lass” and “my heart”.  So, definitely terms of endearment”, Denzell smiled.

“Her name was Claire.  She was a healer and it sounds like she needed to be to be married to you.  You both travelled to France to escape arrest and you lived there before returning to Scotland.  It’s not clear whether you both knew French before leaving or learned it whilst living there.  It was certainly a difficult and turbulent time for both of you.  You particularly needed to recover from trauma inflicted by a particularly brutal British officer, Jamie. But your wife also suffered the loss of a child which left you both shattered. I won’t say too much of that as you both found it difficult to talk of Faith, even under hypnosis.  You might find that part of the video a very emotional experience.”

“There was a point, not terribly long after you both returned from France, when you seem to have sent your wife away to protect her.  There was some sense that someone else had gone with her, but it wasn’t clear.  Somehow, she went to a place that it would be difficult to return from and where you couldn’t contact her, from what you said.  You grieved her for years.  You didn’t expect to survive Culloden, and when you did you couldn’t let her know for some reason.  That added to your deep sense of loss.”

“One thing you repeated over and over was that you told her you would find her, even if you had to endure 200 years of purgatory, because she was a rare woman and you “loved her well”.  And you believed you would know her even if she had aged, because you made a cut in the shape of the letter J in the base of her thumb.”

Claire looked down at her thumb.  There had been a strange mark at the base of her thumb from birth.  Was it a J?

“Purgatory does seem to have been part of your next two lives, in the sense of cleansing.  In your next life, you helped orphans in the nineteenth century.  You described the conditions as wretched, but you related the plight of orphans to the woman you had loved and wanted to care for them as some form of recompense for what you had done in your previous life.  You appear to have died from a virulent disease.”

“From your descriptions of your third life, I believe you died in the Boer War or one of the World Wars, so not a long life.”

“What amazes me, is that in _this_ life you appear to have returned to the location, the name and similar circumstances as you lived in during the eighteenth century.  That, it seems, was to fulfil your promise to the wife you loved, having told her you would spend 200 years in purgatory to find your way back to her”, Denzell concluded.

Jamie sat looking dumbfounded.  The idea that he could have recalled anything of previous lives astonished him, but the detail that Denzell had extracted left him speechless.

Denzell turned to Claire: “You, Claire, are less complex but no less amazing.  You see, Claire, you have returned so that Jamie _could_ fulfil his promise.  You too have returned to the location, the name and the circumstances you lived in for part of the eighteenth century.  Your story corresponds so accurately with Jamie’s at certain points that there can be little doubt that you were Claire Fraser, Lady Broch Tuarach.”

Claire, Jamie and Ellen had all become quite emotional at this stage.  “So, the portrait of Laird and Lady Broch Tuarach is such a close resemblance of Jamie and Claire because it is, effectively, them?” Ellen asked.

“I believe so”, Denzell replied smiling.

Ellen looked at Jamie and then to Denzell: “Can you tell Jamie anything about his back Denzell?  The skin condition?”

“It appears that the skin condition on your back is likely to be related to your death in Edinburgh, when you were known as Mr Alexander Malcolm.  You owned a print shop and it burnt down.  You saved someone who was in that building at the time, but you suffered serious burns and died.  As I told you, when reincarnated some people carry the scars from a previous incarnation.”

“And I somehow remembered that?” Jamie asked.

“Claire did.  Claire returned from wherever it was she had been just as you were dying.  A few days earlier and you might have been saved”, Denzell told them.  “I had difficulty understanding precisely how she travelled back to Edinburgh.  It sounded like she was Dr Who in a tardis”, he grinned.

“You came back to me?” Jamie said tearfully looking at Claire.

“She did, twenty years later.  She thought you’d died at Culloden, but it seems she returned when she found out you were alive.  It wasn’t clear how she knew or how she could return from this mystery location.  You called her _mo nighean donn_ and Sassenach as you were dying, so you did recognise her.  So, you had to go through over 200 years to keep your word – and you have.  I have to say you both took me on a journey I never expected to go on.  It’s beyond remarkable.”

Jamie put his hand over Claire’s arm, shaking a little and still trying to process what he had heard: “I think I’d like to watch the videos now Claire”

Claire smiled at him: “So would I Jamie.”

“And I’d like to watch yours Claire, if that’s alright”, Ellen added.

“Of course.”

“I think it would be good for all of us to watch them together” Denzell suggested.  “It’s such a remarkable jigsaw puzzle.  But I warn you, you will be exhausted at the end of it all.  It’s comparable to Tolstoy’s _War and Peace._ ”


	8. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire makes an important decision after watching her and Jamie's videos.

 

 

 

 

 

Watching the videos proved to be an exhausting experience, as Denzell had predicted.  It wasn’t just that it was a four-hour epic, it was emotionally draining. 

Jamie had recalled patchy memories of his torture at the hands of Black Jack, which brought them all to tears.  Ellen asked that they pause the video while she made coffee for everyone.  She was visually distressed.  She had heard reference to the punishments meted out to Scots at that time, but some of the graphic details Jamie recalled went way beyond her powers of imagination and disgust.  Claire joined her in the kitchen making drinks as a show of care and support.

During Claire’s video, all four of them had cried as she recounted the lead-up to the loss of Faith and the excruciating experience her birth had been.  They had taken a break after watching that part of the video and gone for a walk, Jamie holding Claire’s arm as she continued to weep.

“I canna believe ye survived that Claire.  Ye must’ve had such strength to endure it all”, Jamie muttered.

“The loss of life in childbirth was far more common then, Jamie – both mother and child”, Claire replied tearfully.

“Aye, but my betrayal of my promise too.  Maybe everything would have been different if I hadna done that.  I feel so ashamed”.  He looked to the ground as he said it.

Claire looked up, surprised: “But it wasn’t you.  It was a Jamie of the past.  You can’t take responsibility for what happened all those years ago.  Circumstances were completely different.”  She held his arm: “With what I know now, I believe Faith would have died regardless.”

“Maybe, if Faith had survived, I wouldna have sent ye away.  Maybe we could have lived as a family to the end of our days and all that pain of losing one another could have been prevented.”

“Maybes are generally a gift we have when we look back with the benefit of hindsight”, Claire smiled.  “You and I have had a rare opportunity to look back on previous _lives_.”

They began walking back to the house to continue watching the videos.  They were both silent until Jamie stopped, his hand on Claire’s shoulder: “Claire, have ye decided?  Are ye going to America to be with Frank?”

Claire stood stock-still for a while, looking into the distance as Jamie waited for her reply.  Finally, she moved her eyes to his: “One thing that’s becoming clear from these videos is the depth of the love we had for one another all those years ago.  I now realise I’ve never had that kind of deeply intense love with Frank.  I’d go so far as to say our marriage has become one of convenience – a habit neither of us could give up.  So no, I won’t be going to America.  I have to return to my job in London in ten days’ time, and then I’ll pack up Frank’s belongings and have them shipped to him.  But I am going to rebuild my life without him.”

“Then I’d like to take ye to some of the places we’ve been talking of in these videos: Castle Leoch, Fort William, Culloden and such.  Would ye like to do that with me?” Jamie asked.

“Yes, I would”, Claire replied.  “Who knows what we might remember?”

They heard Ellen calling them back to the house, keen to return to watching the videos, and strolled back together.  Jamie reached out and squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his in return.

Their recollections of parting, of Jamie’s near-death experience at Culloden and of Claire returning to Edinburgh, only to find Jamie close to death, were also heartrending.  By the time they had watched the videos they were physically and emotionally exhausted. 

Denzell said he would stay on for another day to answer any questions and would leave the videos with them.  Their evening meal was spent recalling special moments on the videos, eating and drinking.  Denzell would be returning to India in a few weeks and told them of his plans there.  As he was speaking, Claire would frequently feel Jamie watching her.  She felt drawn to him.  She was looking forward to their journey through historic Scotland, but before that she needed to finish her email to Frank.

She was still sitting in the highbacked armchair in her room, laptop open, when Jamie headed to his room across the corridor.  He could see her concentrating through the open bedroom door.  He knocked gently on the door: “Are ye alright Claire?  Do ye need anything?” he asked.

“I’m just writing to Frank, Jamie.  I think I’ve hit writer’s block”, she replied.

He stepped a few feet into the room: “It must be difficult.  I dinna envy ye”, he smiled.

“It’s been made easier after reading his email to me, going into infinite detail about how everything should be packed and labelled.  He managed to _not_ mention that he missed me once”, she told him.  She had resigned herself to the situation with Frank, but the end of a marriage was never easy.  “Come in, you may be able to help.”

Jamie sat on the second chair in the bedroom and she read the email to him.  He felt a little uncomfortable at being the witness to the end of a marriage but having met Frank and heard his Ma’s opinion of the man, he admired Claire for being brave enough to call an end to a dysfunctional marriage.

“Maybe ye could add that you’re welcome to stay in Scotland for as long as ye wish, as a guest of the Frasers” he smiled.

“Well, that’s a very kind offer.  Thank you”, Claire replied.

“Now, are ye going to send that email?” Jamie asked.  “Do you want me to press ‘send’?”

Claire laughed: “That would make life so much easier.”

Jamie reached across and pressed the ‘send’ icon: “It’s done.  Now ye can get on with yer life.  We leave for our tour as soon as Denzell has left.  Alright?”

“Alright.  I’m looking forward to it”, Claire smiled. 

Jamie kissed her on the cheek: “Goodnight Claire.”  As he walked to the bedroom door, he looked back at her and smiled: “ _Mo nighean donn_.”

Claire laid in bed.  It was 11.30pm, five hours later than in Boston.  At 6.30pm precisely, her email would have arrived in Frank’s in box and he would know that she would not be following him – if he wasn’t aware now, he would be soon.  She had turned her laptop off.  She didn’t want to hear the customary sound notifying her she’d received an email.  Her decision was made and reading what Frank thought about it could wait until the next morning.  She was predicting a cold, factual and business-like response.  Certainly not one begging for her to join him – and that was fine because there was nothing he could say to convince her that remaining in their marriage was the right thing to do.  She slept surprisingly well.


	9. The Faerie Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire begin their journey to the historic locations of their past lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The following day, Ellen and Claire went into the town and bought Denzell an antique fob watch to thank him for all he had done.  “It seems to be appropriate to gift him something related to time” Claire told Ellen.  The watch was still in its original, if slightly ragged, box with _Garrard & Co. Ltd., 112 Regent Street, W.1. _printed on it in gold lettering.

While Ellen was fossicking around at the back of the shop, Claire surreptitiously snuck a vase to the shop owner for wrapping.  It was a heavy, hand-blown, vintage cobalt blue vase that she would have loved for herself.  She had always thought the most precious gifts were the ones one coveted.  She wanted to thank Ellen for making her so welcome at _Lallybroch_ and for being so supportive to someone she barely knew _._ (She also thought it would look perfect in the Laird’s room.)

They returned to _Lallybroch_ laden with these and other items of shopping, had lunch and bade farewell to Denzell, who was returning to London on the train.  As Ellen drove out to transport Denzell to the station, Jamie urged Claire to sit in the library and look at his plans.

“I’ve made a list of some places that we mentioned: Craig na Dun, Castle Leoch, Fort William, Beauly, Culloden and Cranesmuir.  I’ve heard there’s nothing much remaining of Ardsmuir.  Some of the other places I’d like to keep for another time”, Jamie said enthusiastically.

“Another time?” Claire asked.

“Aye.  Now ye’ve decided not to go to America ye can visit us regularly.  Ma would like that.  She’s very fond of ye Claire”, Jamie smiled.

“And I of her”, Claire grinned.  “I’d like that.”

They both packed and placed their bags in the car.  “Ma packed this picnic basket for us too.  She allows for the possibility of snow in the midst of summer”, Jamie laughed.

When Ellen returned, they bade her farewell and headed south to Fort William, a 2 ½ hour drive. 

As they drove, Jamie side-eyed Claire: “Did ye hear from Frank, Claire?”

“I did.  It was largely predictable.  All my fault, of course, for not wanting to be adventurous and not valuing him as much as I should have.  I was surprised by one comment though”, she paused.

“Aye?  What was that?” Jamie asked.

“He told me that I had been one of the only people who had kept him in touch with the real world, rather than academia.  That sometimes he found university women to be blue stockings with their heads in the clouds and I kept him grounded.  He’d never told me _that_ before” she muttered.

“Ye are very real, Claire.  Ma described ye as authentic, and she only says that about people she feels really comfortable with.  She would never have used that word to describe Frank!”

“Anyway, he knows and now I want to move on” Claire said in a determined tone.

“No regrets?” Jamie asked.

“What was it Frank Sinatra sang?  _Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention”_ Claire laughed.

“Ah yes, _My Way_.  I willna sing it.  I’m told my voice is to die for – literally” he told her.

They chatted and laughed their way to Fort William.  Jamie knew a beautiful apartment where they would stay overnight. “I’ve brought enough food for a breakfast that could keep ye going all day and we can look around then move on to Craig na dun”, Jamie told her.

They ate dinner that evening in a small restaurant in the town.  Claire insisted on paying, as Jamie seemed to be shelling out for everything.  They were totally comfortable in one another’s company and walked to and from the restaurant.  As they walked back in the dusk, Jamie asked: “Why do ye think she returned to Edinburgh after 20 years?  They would barely’ve known each other.  And then to find him dying.”

“Lots of reasons I suppose.  She must have loved him so much that when she found out he was alive she thought ‘ _I have to go back’_.  How could she have existed without knowing whether they could live as husband and wife again?  Just that last chance to see him again, touch him, kiss him …”  As she spoke, Claire was reaching out to Jamie – holding his arm and squeezing.  She looked at him in a way he’d never been looked at before – a look of total devotion with eyes that looked into his soul.  She reached up and kissed him on the lips and he kissed her back.

“Oh, sorry” Claire suddenly said, pulling back.

“Don’t be.  It was amazing.  The way ye looked at me had me in a spell.  I do believe ye might be The Faerie Queene”, Jamie smiled as he held her shoulders.

“William Shakespeare’s or Edmund Spenser’s?”, Claire asked.

“Definitely Edmund Spenser’s”, Jamie replied.  “Maybe I can be yer Prince Arthur.”

“How much do you know about Prince Arthur?” Claire said in surprise.

“I know he’s madly in love with the Faerie Queene and spends his time in pursuit of her when not helping the other knights.  And as there are no other knights around at the moment …”  Jamie placed his arms around her and lifted her a little so that he could kiss her thoroughly.  She was still holding his arm, and her other hand reached up to his shoulder.  When their lips parted, their eyes remained fixed on one another.

“Do you think this is some weird kind of destiny Jamie?”, Claire asked.

“I dinna care Claire.  All I know is I’ve wanted to do that since I found ye in my bed.  I was waiting for ye to decide what to do about Frank.  I didna want to influence your decision, although I enjoyed hitting that send button. I said to myself ‘Lord, if I’ve never had courage in my life before, let me have it now. Let me be brave enough not to fall on my knees and beg her to stay.’ It needed to be what ye wanted for yerself, but now I dinna want to lose ye and I’ve been trying to find a way to tell ye.  When ye kissed me, ye just made it easier.”

They walked back the rest of the way hand-in-hand, stopping occasionally to hug and kiss.  Everything about their connection felt natural.  When they arrived back at the apartment, Claire gave Jamie a wicked smile: “You know, that night I was in your bed and you called me _mo nighean donn,_ I kissed you on the lips and it felt really good.  Your lips are very soft and … kissable.”

Jamie laughed at her: “I didna know that. Ye’re a seductive woman, Claire!  I was hoping ye might seduce me”, he laughed.  “But seriously, I dinna want to hurry things.  Ye’ve only just decided to leave Frank so I want ye to decide if and when ye’re ready to take the plunge wi’ me.”

“Thank you, Jamie.  Let’s have a nightcap.  We can watch the moon reflecting off the water as we celebrate finding our destiny”, Claire said as she kissed him again.

 


	10. Fort William

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire make the first stop on their tour.
> 
> Two things:  
> Blackness Castle was used for the filming of Fort William.  
> Credit to @sassenach4life for the gif of Claire and Jamie jumping off the Fort William ramparts (and my thanks for so graciously giving your permission to use it).

 

 

 

 

 

 

The apartment had two bedrooms.  Claire’s bags were in one and Jamie’s bags in the other.  They bade each other goodnight.  Jamie was true to his word – he didn’t want to hurry Claire into a decision about their future.

Claire lay in her nightie looking at the ceiling.  She was electrified – her mind was racing, and sleep was not going to come easily.  After lying there for over an hour, she decided to creep into the living area and get a drink.  She opened the door slowly, not wanting to wake Jamie.  The moonlight was shining through the large window into the living area.  Jamie was sitting on the couch looking out of the window, wearing his pyjama pants.  He turned and smiled.

“I couldn’t sleep.  I was creeping out to get a glass of water”, Claire said quietly.

“Same.  I was too excited by what happened tonight”, Jamie said, turning to look at her.  “And now ye’re in a nightie that doesna leave much to the imagination” he smiled.  “Would ye like a whisky?  Or a coffee?”

“A whisky would be perfect”, Claire replied.

Jamie rose to get a second glass.  Claire sat on the couch and he returned to pour a glass for her.

They sipped from their glasses.  Jamie put his arm along the back of the couch and Claire slid across and rested her head on his shoulder.  “I feel like a schoolgirl who just had her very first kiss” she told him.  “Well, the first one that truly mattered.”

“Aye, I’m no monk Claire but that kiss had something special about it.  I canna describe what was different about it.  Is it usual for yer lips to feel like they shine after ye kiss someone?” he asked.

“Like they’re sparkling?” Claire suggested.

“Aye, almost glittering”, Jamie agreed.

“I don’t think so.  It was like mine were shimmering an hour later”, she said with a slightly embarrassed giggle.  She felt his arm close in and pull her a little closer.

“I don’t want to go back to bed”, Claire told him.  “Not on my own anyway.  If we really have waited 200 years to be together, I don’t see much point in waiting, do you?”

“Are you sure Claire?  I know I am, but I dinna want ye to regret it”, Jamie said as his fingers tightened on her shoulder.

“I have no doubts about it Jamie.  Your bed or mine?”.  She kissed his chest.

“I dinna care Sassenach”.  He lifted her from the couch and carried her to his bed.  She slipped her nightie off and he looked at her with a certain wonder which made her feel like a goddess.  “Ye’re the most beautiful woman I ever saw Claire”, he said quietly.

“I want to look at you too” Claire told him.

He removed his pyjamas and she could see that he was already well aroused.  She ran her fingers down his chest, towards his hips and felt him respond as if she’d made contact with every tiny nerve ending in his body.  His sudden inhalation was followed by a groan of need.  She slipped on to the bed and he followed her, his hands running over her body as if he were making a mental map of her.

She gasped as he ran his fingers gently over her breasts and sucked her nipples.  As his hand moved down over her stomach and towards her vulva, she let out a quiet squeal of anticipation that made him smile and whimper simultaneously.

His body hovered over hers as they both grew more aroused. “Jamie, please.  Now” she begged him.  She moved her legs to invite him into her and grasped his hips.

The invitation was met with glee.  He thrust into her and exhaled: “Christ Claire, I need this.  I need ye so badly, I can barely breathe.”  What followed was a dance of love – gentle touching, passionate kissing, groans of pleasure, a sexual joining of two bodies.

Claire felt her own orgasm just as Jamie reached his.  It was explosive, physically and vocally.  And it was followed by a kiss that brought them together with intensity.

Jamie rolled to her side, still holding her breast and kissing her cheek.  She lay there feeling delightfully exhausted.

It was some minutes later that Jamie spoke, sounding emotional: “Claire, can I tell ye something?  Do ye promise not to laugh?”

“Of course I won’t laugh Jamie”, she told him.

“Ye’re the woman who’s been in my dreams for years.  She never had a face, but she knew me like no-one else I ever met.  She knew exactly what to say, what to do, where to touch me, how to satisfy me.  She made me feel replete.  I never thought I’d find her, but it was ye.  I’ve been dreaming of ye for so long.”  He snuggled into her neck and held her close.

“I don’t understand tasseography, metempsychosis or reincarnation but I do believe that we were meant to find one another Jamie.  You are my miracle and we’re together again.”  She lay face to face with him: “We are going to wake up together every morning and go to sleep together every night.  We’ve got 200 years to catch up on.”

She watched as Jamie relaxed and drifted off to sleep.  He smiled in his sleep and she wondered if he’d always done that.

When she woke the following morning, Jamie was looking intently at her.  He was still smiling, and his bright blue eyes were sparkling even more than usual: “Morning _mo nighean donn._ Did ye sleep well?”

“I did.  I watched you drift off first.  Did you know that you smile in your sleep?  It’s really quite beautiful”, she said running her fingers down his cheek.

“Well, no I didna know because I’m sleeping.  But if ye think it’s beautiful then I’m happy.  Breakfast?” he asked.

“Yes please.  Do you want a hand?” she smiled.

“Ye can make the coffee and I’ll make porridge, followed by as much fruit toast as ye can eat with lashings of butter” he offered.  He moved towards the edge of the bed and Claire pulled him back: “Not until ye’ve made my lips glow with one of your kisses”, she grinned.

“Yer wish is my command” he responded.  He rolled into her and she told him afterwards that it felt like he’d kissed her with his entire body, then they made and ate breakfast before preparing for the first full day of their historic tour.

Walking towards Fort William took effort – not only physical but emotional.  As they drew closer, Claire felt a strange chill and zipped up her jacket.  It wasn’t a particularly cold day, but she shivered and sought Jamie’s hand for reassurance.  His hand was cold too.

Still holding hands, they tagged on to the end of a tour party.  The guide was telling the gathering that “during and after the Jacobite uprisings, prisoners were brought here to be punished and held in custody.  Many were tortured and some were publicly beaten.  The punishments meted out were disproportionately cruel in many cases.  A group of cattle thieves were executed at the Old Castle of Inverlochy, a mile north of Fort William.  It was decided that as they were part of the Cameron clan, they should die in the Cameron lands as an example to their kith and kin.  There was a landward moat which could be flooded, and it’s rumoured that several prisoners managed to escape by jumping into the waters.”

Claire began to shiver, and Jamie led her away to a quiet spot: “Are ye OK Claire?  Did ye feel that ye couldna breathe for a moment, as I did?”

“Yes, I did.  And a drowning sensation.  I think I’d like to leave Jamie.  This place has a really negative vibe”, she told him.

“Aye, let’s go.  The skin condition on my back is feeling inflamed too” he replied.  “That can happen when I’m nervous.”

They walked back to the car briskly, looking back at what remained of a place which clearly held secrets of a frightening period in their past.  As they drove away, Claire said: “I think I need an entire pot of tea to myself after that.”

“Really?  I was thinking of a whisky”, Jamie replied.

“OK.  I’ll drive the next stretch to Craig na dun then” she suggested.

They stopped at a nearby hotel, where they drank and had a wee bite to eat.  When they had both settled down they decided to move on, agreed that they were unlikely to return Fort William any time soon.


	11. Craigh Na Dun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie move on to Craig Na Dun to see if it reveals anything about their past.

 

 

 

 

The drive to Craigh na Dun took several hours.  Jamie, having enjoyed a few whiskies after Fort William, slept part of the way giving Claire time to reflect on how the subject of the stones had come up.  Jamie had talked in Gaidhlig about his promise to Claire to find her even if he had to spend 200 years in purgatory.  That promise had been made in a setting of standing stones and Mrs Graham, a friend of Ellen’s, had later told them it was most likely to be Craigh na Dun.  Jamie had included it on the list as it seemed to be where he last saw Claire before she disappeared for twenty years.

They booked into a bed and breakfast in a nearby village.  The only remaining room had a double bed and a proprietor who looked like she was a God-fearing woman from an ancient parish council.  Jamie signed the guest book as ‘Mr and Mrs James Fraser’ and handed over his credit card.  The woman looked over her spectacles and pushed a ‘cash only’ sign towards him.  Claire reached into her bag and produced the cash payment from her purse.

“Thank ye kindly, Mrs Fraser”, the woman replied with her eyes checking the gold band on Claire’s ring finger.  Jamie stifled a laugh as Claire politely replied: “It’s my pleasure.  I’m pleased to see that there are some establishments that are not ruled by plastic”.

They took their bags upstairs and freshened up, Jamie taking the opportunity to run his hands over Claire’s breasts as she changed from a blouse to a light jumper.

“Yer breasts are so soft and perfect”, he purred.

“And they will be put to good use tonight when we make love again, Mr Fraser”, she smiled.

“Promise?” he grinned.

“Absolutely.  Now I’ve found you I’m insatiable”, she told him as she ran her hand over his arse.  “But let’s go to Craigh na Dun, have a meal and then sink into bed for an early night.  I want to run my hands over your naked arse for hours”, she winked.

“Deal”, Jamie told her as he grabbed the car keys and led her down the stairs.

They arrived at Craigh na Dun in the late afternoon.  The sun was beginning to go down and the stones cast shadows on the surrounding hill.  They walked up the hill slowly, taking in the views.  It was a beautiful area.  As they drew closer, Claire frowned a little: “Can you hear that awful noise Jamie?”

“No, all I hear is birdsong”, Jamie replied.  “What does it sound like?”

“Like people moaning in the wind and a bit like wind chimes”, she told him.  As they drew closer, Claire noticed that the sound became stronger: “Now it’s more like moans and the loud whistle of storm winds approaching.  It’s becoming intense”, she added, holding her head in her hands.

Jamie looked around.  The trees were still, he could see no sign of wind nor animals.  He was puzzled.  When he turned back to Claire, she had her hands raised in front of her and was walking slowly towards the largest of the stones, a cleft stone significantly taller than her.  He called out to her but there was no response. 

He didn’t necessarily understand _why_ he felt compelled to stop her touching the stone, but he instinctively knew that she shouldn’t.  He ran over and grabbed her by one arm, pulling her away, and held her close.  She gasped as she came out of an almost trance-like state, looking at him in surprise.

“What was I doing?  What happened?” she asked Jamie.

“I’m no’ sure what was going on Claire.  Ye looked like ye’d been hypnotised again.  Remember what Mrs Graham said?

 

 

> _“The stories are old._ _Some say as old as the stones themselves, passed down from generation to generation through ballads and songs._ _I first heard them from my grandmother, and she from hers._ _The songs tell stories about people who travel through the stones….Not literally through the stone itself._ _You see,  the circle at Craigh Na Dun marks a, a place on the earth where the powers of nature come together….The stones gather the powers and give it focus, like a glass…and for certain people, on certain days,  it allows them to pierce the veil of time.”_

A few months ago I wouldna have considered what she said, but with tasseography, metempsychosis, reincarnation and now this – well, I’m seriously wondering.  Maybe ye can travel through time, maybe ye did years ago.  Ye could hear sounds I couldna hear at all.  Ye could be The Woman of Balnain, Claire.”

“Who?” Claire asked with interest.

Jamie preferred to walk a short distance from the stones, where the disturbance Claire had experienced was no longer audible, and told Claire the tale of _The woman of Balnain:_

 

 

> _I am a woman of Balnain_
> 
> _The folk have stolen me over again_
> 
> _The stones seemed to say._
> 
> _I stood upon the hill, and the wind did rise, and the sound of thunder rolled across the land._
> 
> _I placed my hands upon the tallest stone_
> 
> _And travelled to a far, distant land_
> 
> _Where I lived for a time among strangers who became lovers and friends._
> 
> _But one day, I saw the moon come out_
> 
> _And the wind rose once more._
> 
> _So I touched the stones_
> 
> _And travelled back to my own land_
> 
> _And took up again with the man I had left behind.”_

"It was always just a tale to me, but it's beginning to take on a whole new meaning with what we've seen and heard", Jamie told her. 

They both stood looking at the stones. Claire was still shaking a little: “Do you recall what Denzell said? _“_ _You seem to have sent your wife away to protect her.  There was some sense that someone else had gone with her, but it wasn’t clear._ ”  Do you think you sent me back to my own land, like this woman of Balnain, because we had a child to protect?  Why wouldn’t that be clear?”

Jamie thought for a few moments: “It mightn’t be clear if ye were _with child._ A woman with child would have been in great danger around the time of Culloden, especially if her husband was lost in battle.  We know ye lost a child so maybe ye were pregnant again. When ye talked of the wind rising and a storm coming in, you started to walk towards the tallest stone just like The Woman of Balnain.  It’s hard to believe and yet it seems remarkably similar.”

“Denzell did liken my account to Dr Who.  He was a time traveller in his Tardis.  And he took Jenna Coleman”, Claire mumbled.

They both began to laugh.  “Aye well the Tardis made a lot of noise when it was about to travel too”, Jamie said.  “It’s getting a wee bit cold and ye’re shivering Sassenach.  Let’s get ourselves a meal and go to bed.  I can warm ye up with a spot of friction.”

“Opportunist”, Claire smiled.

“I am”, Jamie replied as he placed his arm around her back and guided her back to the car.

They drove to a pub in the nearby village, ate and drank well and then returned to the B&B.  There was a deep bath in their en suite, so they bathed together.  Jamie’s large frame was propped against the end of the huge cast iron bath and Claire rested her back against his chest.  They theorised about the stones for some time, topping up the bath with hot water regularly.  Finally, they dried one another with large towels and fell into bed.

Claire noticed that Jamie’s back was still quite inflamed after their visit to Fort William.  She ducked out of bed to get some sensitive skin cream from her toiletries bag.

“On your stomach Fraser.  I’m going to rub this cream into your back”, she commanded.  Jamie happily laid on the bed while Claire placed her knees each side of him and gently rubbed the reddened skin.  She would occasionally stop to kiss his back and rub her breasts against him, which made him moan with pleasure.  When she reached his buttocks, he rolled over to reveal a sizeable erection.

Claire smiled seductively: “I think you might be ready for me” she teased as she lowered herself down onto him.

“Always” Jamie told her as he grabbed her hips.


	12. Culloden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire press on with their tour, visiting Culloden and Inverness. The strength of their relationship is becoming more apparent to both of them.

****

 

 

 

Fort William had been scary – almost threatening.  Craigh Na Dun had been surprising – somewhat of a revelation.  Culloden was sombre and sad.  As they approached the ancient battlefield, Jamie gripped Claire’s hand and held tight.  He was a tall man, but he slumped to the point where Claire’s head could rest comfortably against his shoulder.  His body language reflected a feeling of grief and despondency.

Culloden Moor was where, on 16 April 1746, the final Jacobite Rising came to a brutal head in one of the most harrowing battles in British history.  His clan, and others, had suffered huge losses in the battle.

They strolled around, looking at the stones that marked the clans which had fought and died on that day.  At the Fraser stone, Claire stopped and squeezed Jamie’s hand: “Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser must lay near here.  His portrait is on display at your home.”

“Aye, Ma said she knew something was amiss when ye gave him the name ‘Fitzgibbons’, as it isna beneath his portrait Sassenach”, Jamie told her.  “Why would ye remember Murtagh, I wonder?”

“His loyalty to you, I think.  I can’t know for sure”, Claire replied.  “I feel sure he was an extraordinarily important person in our lives.”

“Ma said he was godfather to Red Jamie, so maybe that explains it”, Jamie explained.

“Maybe so”, Claire responded.

They continued on past other clan stones: Mackintosh, Macgillivray, Donald and more.

“How did they know where to lay the grave markers?” Claire asked.

“The markers on the battlefield were put in place in 1881, some 130 years after the battle. Geophysical tests of the area have been done and they show that the area around each cairn does indeed hold many mass graves but how the positions of each of the gravestones were chosen is something of a mystery”, Jamie replied. “Around 1,500 Jacobites died here.  How do you begin to know one long dead clansman from another?”

Jamie continued walking: “Ye know Claire, losing 1,500 proud Scots is one thing, but what followed was even worse – if that’s possible.  The English were determined to wipe out whatever they could of the Highland culture.  It went on for over a century.  So many Scots left for the colonies to flee hunger and persecution.”

“Indeed.  So many of Scots heritage in America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.  Your family were fortunate to retain _Lallybroch_ Jamie” Claire said.

“Ye should talk to Ma about the hardships that had to be endured to keep the family on the land, Claire.  She’s a book for every day of the year and more”, he smiled.

“What happened to Red Jamie?  How did he survive?”, Claire asked.

“He lived rough, they say.  Some say he was the Dunbonnet, who hid in a cave for years.  Others say he went to Ardsmuir Prison sooner rather than later.  It’s difficult to know exactly as he took on a variety of identities, as Denzell told us”, Jamie recalled.  “Even married again, but not for long.  By the time ye returned, he was Alexander Malcolm living and dying in Edinburgh.”

“It’s so cruel.  Surviving all that punishment and pain, only to die just as Claire returned”, Claire mused.

“Aye, but according to Denzell he recognised her afore he died.  He knew she came back to be with him.  I hope he died knowing she still loved him”, Jamie smiled as he ran his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.  “Like he loved her.”

They were still thinking of what might have been when it began to mizzle.  “This _is_ Scottish weather”, Claire laughed as they picked up their pace on their way to the car and removed their wet coats.  They sat in the car looking out on to the moor.

“We’ll drive into Inverness, eat and stay overnight”, Jamie suggested.

Claire was quiet for a few minutes then spoke: “Jamie, do you realise we’ve started to talk about Lord and Lady Broch Tuarach as if they were us?  As if we’ve gradually accepted that we _are_ them reincarnated?  When did we begin to do that?”

Jamie sat back and thought. “I think I knew there was something happening when I discovered I'd called ye _mo nighean donn_ for the first time.  But after Denzell hypnotized us, I really began to believe it.  Since then, it’s become more and more plausible.  How about ye?”

“I think I finally accepted it when I decided not to go to America.  I felt that I was never meant to go because I was destined to stay with you.  And when I kissed you in Fort William, it was as if all the pieces had fallen into place – like a jigsaw puzzle”, she smiled.  “We’d come back together because that was the way it was meant to be.  Mission accomplished.”

She looked over to Jamie to see a brilliant smile on his face.  “What?  Why are you laughing at me?” she asked.

“Because I’ve fallen in love with ye all over again Lady Broch Tuarach”, Jamie told her.

“And I with you, Lord Broch Tuarach” she told him as she reached across and kissed him.

As they drove into Inverness, the castle became visible: “I don’t recall that at all”, Claire noted.

“That castle was built in the 1830s, Sassenach.  You should feel more at home in our hotel, which was built in the 17th century”, Jamie smiled.

“Really?  Tell me more”, Claire glowed.

“Well, it’s a 17th century Baronial mansion in 20 acres of gardens, it has its own restaurant and we have a suite with a four-poster bed where I am going to roger ye until ye scream for mercy”, he told her with a broad smile.

“I might just scream for more”, Claire laughed.

“Well, I am hopeful”, Jamie told her.

As they pulled up outside their hotel, Claire’s eyes were popping at the beautiful mansion and location.  “You have excelled yourself this time Jamie.  I love it!”

The suite was palatial with beautiful views of the Firth.  Claire sat in a winged armchair with a glass of wine declaring she would be happy to sit there for a week.  Jamie sat facing her, looking serious: “Claire, how long before you have to return to London?”

“Four days Jamie”, she said sadly.

“For how long?” he asked.

“Well, that rather depends on what we decide”, Claire replied.

“I want ye to come back and live with me Claire.  I’m sure ye could find work at a hospital in Scotland.  And once ye’re divorced, I want ye to become Mrs Fraser … again.  I’ve never met anyone I wanted to marry before – well, not in this life anyway - but now I’ve found ye I want to be with ye always, _mo nighean donn._   Is that what ye want too?” he said hopefully.

“Yes, I do.  Very much.  I have to go back to London first, pack Frank’s things and ship them off, pack my things, resign from my job and organise my life.  That could take a little while.  But I’ll come back to you Jamie because now I’ve found you, I want to be with you always too.”  She stood and walked over to him, sliding on to his lap.  “There’s the two of us now.”


	13. Beauly, Castle Leoch and Cranesmuir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Claire and Jamie continue their tour, they visit Beauly, Castle Leoch and Cranesmuir.
> 
> The first of the videos below is a favourite from an early episode of Season 1 at Castle Leoch. The second, of Lord Lovat and his son with Jamie and Claire, is from Series 2 and just prior to Culloden. Just two little warm-ups.

 

 

 

The four-poster bed had been a major success.  After a leisurely full breakfast, Jamie and Claire headed to their final tour destinations: Beauly, Castle Leoch and Cranesmuir.

Beauly Priory had been built in Scotland around 1230 for monks belonging to the little-known French order of Valliscaulian.  It was here that Claire was supposed to have met with Lord Lovat’s seer, Maisri.  It was also the traditional burial ground for the chiefs of Clan Fraser.  The home of the Lovat Frasers was at nearby Beaufort Castle. 

Simon Fraser, the Old Fox _,_ was the 11th Lord Lovat – father to the illegitimate Brian Fraser and grandfather to Red Jamie.  He was known to always act out of self-interest, but he chose the wrong side in the Jacobite cause and was eventually executed as a traitor. 

Jamie had read a number of books that described Simon as an unpleasant and self-indulgent man but visiting Beauly and Beaufort didn’t prompt any memories.  Claire, however, had a recollection: “You told him I was the White Lady, Jamie.  _La Dame Blanche._   You did it so he didn’t harm me.  And then someone called Simon joined you – but it wasn’t the old Simon.  Who could it have been?”

“Aye, it was his son – the Young Simon – who went to Culloden.  The Old Fox was trying to get _Lallybroch_ for himself”, Jamie recalled.  “Brian was already dead, and he’d been trying to claim the land for a while.  But he got caught out for once and was beheaded in London.”

“All I can recall of him is a feeling of arrogance.  He was prepared to offer up his own son and grandson.  Awful old man”, Claire frowned.

“So, it’s not just Murtagh who left an imprint on yer memory”, Jamie smiled.

“It seems not, but I have a feeling of fondness when I think of Murtagh.  I had no such feelings for Lord Lovat”, she scowled.

As they walked around Beaufort Castle, Claire caught sight of a portrait of the Old Fox: “There he is.  Miserable old coot”, Claire exclaimed as he approached the painting.  “He certainly didn’t look that pleasant when I met him.”

Jamie stood back, watching as Claire’s memories were revealed.  “Claire, yer memories have grown as we’ve moved from place to place.  It seems incredible that ye could have any recollection of the two Simons.”

“The Old Fox had no shame in hurting you Jamie – his own grandson.  I can recall being horrified at the way he treated you.  You don’t forget that kind of bastard”, she said with feeling.

“Ye really loved Red Jamie, didn’t you Sassenach?”, he smiled as he slipped his arm around her.

“He was the love of my life, Jamie.  Anyone who hurt him, hurt me. And you are the love of this life.  I have no doubt about it.”  She reached up and kissed him.

“Ye just gave me that look that ye gave me in Fort William, Claire.  Like ye can look into my soul.  Like ye know everything about me, good and bad, and love me with all yer being.  It warms my heart”, he told her.

She kissed him and squeezed his hand. “I think it’s time to leave, Jamie.  I don’t have happy memories of this place.  Let’s move on”, Claire suggested.

As they returned to the car, Jamie stopped and held Claire’s face in his hands.  “Thank ye” he said, his eyes glazed.

“For what?” Claire smiled.

“For loving him and for loving me.  Ye’re a rare woman”, Jamie said kissing her gently.

They drove away in the direction of Cranesmuir, a village close to Castle Leoch.  The village had been mentioned in their hypnosis sessions but not in any great detail. 

 

The high street at Cranesmuir ran from the kirk to the square.  Claire likened the layout of the village to a hand, with the square as the palm, the main street as the foreman and the cottages as fingers.  A local shopkeeper told them that there had once been a prison in the village and a thieves’ hole, but they had been removed long ago.  As they walked along the main street, Claire saw a young woman with long red hair.  For some reason, she felt she should know her, but when the woman turned to face them, Claire had no recollection of having met her before. 

 

They decided to move on to Castle Leoch.  It was to be their last port of call before they returned to _Lallybroch_.  It was a short drive and as they approached it was Jamie’s turn to have a stirring of memories.

 

“There were horses here under the care of a kindly man.  But there was also a rivalry.  I believe it was the Mackenzie brothers.  Claire, do you have any feelings about this place?” he asked.

 

“A different rivalry.  Not brothers.  A woman who wished harm on me and blamed me for taking you from her.  A very unpleasant and scheming woman”, Claire shivered.  She had been wearing her jacket over her shoulders, but now she put her arms in the sleeves and zipped up the jacket to keep her a little warmer.

 

As they looked around, they found a chamber with steps down into it.  It was like a dungeon.  There was a large fireplace.  Claire sniffed: “I can smell something.  Herbs cooking.  A smell of salve or ointment used for healing.”

 

“I canna smell anything”, Jamie frowned.

 

“Does the name Beaton mean anything to you?”, Claire asked.

 

“No, but it might to Ma.  Ye can ask her soon”, Jamie replied.

 

The castle was a tall structure, but the upper storeys had collapsed long ago.  There would have been wonderful views from the roof, making it a good fortress in its heyday.  The population of Cranesmuir would almost certainly have included tradespeople who served the Castle community.

 

After a while, Claire asked Jamie: “Can we drive back to _Lallybroch_ tonight, Jamie?  I’d like to talk to Ellen about what we’ve found and felt.  I think she might be able to shed a light on some of the unknowns.”

 

“Aye, of course.  We’ve a lot to tell her”, Jamie said as he kissed her head and held her close.  “Strangely enough, I don’t think she’s gonna be too surprised to see us very much together.  She said we would both find love in the near future.  In fact, she told me: “ _I see a lover who appears in one of the past lives and the near future and their name begins with the letter C.”_

 

They walked back to the car hand in hand.  Claire smiled: “And to think Ellen started all this by offering me a cup of tea and introducing me to the art of tasseography!”


	14. Back to Lallybroch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire return to Lallybroch to give Ellen their news.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ellen must have heard the car as they approached, as she was standing at the front door ready to greet them as Jamie switched off the ignition.  She watched as they gathered their bags from the boot of the car.  Claire saw the perceptive smile on her face – she somehow knew already.

 

“It’s wonderful to have ye back Claire”, Ellen said as she kissed her cheek and placed her hands on Claire’s shoulders.  She then placed her hand on Jamie’s arm and grinned: “Ye’re looking well Jamie.”

 

As Ellen disappeared into the kitchen to put the kettle on, Claire turned to Jamie and whispered: “I swear she knows already Jamie.”

 

“Aye, well you may be the Faerie Queen and I may be Prince Arthur, but my Ma is no’ glaikit”, Jamie smiled.

 

“What on earth is a glaikit?” Claire said curiously.

 

“Glaikit is used to describe a stupid, foolish and thoughtless person”, Jamie told her.

 

“Well, that’s certainly not Ellen!”, Claire laughed.

 

Ellen prepared a tray with a pot of tea, 3 cups and slices of cake, which Jamie carried into the library.

 

“Well, ye’ll need to tell me all”, Ellen said as she poured their drinks.  She winked: “Well, maybe not _everything”_ , she added with a mischievous grin.

 

Jamie blushed a little and looked over his teacup: “Is it that obvious Ma?”

 

“Aye, it is.  I suspected before ye left but ye took one look at one another when ye arrived and it was clear to me.  The Laird and his Lady are back”, Ellen smiled. 

 

“I’ve asked Claire to live with me Ma and …” Jamie began.

 

“Oh Claire, to have ye at _Lallybroch_ would be wonderful.  I couldna be happier”, Ellen exclaimed.

“ ** _And_** ”, Jamie continued, “I’ve asked her to marry me once she’s divorced from Frank.”

 

Ellen clapped her hands and reached over to hold Claire’s arm: “Claire Fraser the Second” she said in delight. 

 

Once Ellen was over her excitement, they began to tell her about their tour.

 

“Fort William left us both feeling _very_ uncomfortable Ma”, Jamie told her.  “I’ve always thought it a sombre place, but Claire felt really uncomfortable there and my back was sore for several days.  It’s almost like I was allergic to the place. Luckily Claire had some cream she put on my back to soothe it.”

 

“Well, they do say some dreadful things were done to people who were taken to the Fort.  Hangings, beatings and torture to name a few”, Ellen said shaking her head.  “Who knows what might have been done to Red Jamie.” 

 

“Claire, tell Ma about Craigh na Dun”, Jamie suggested.

 

“It was odd, Ellen.  I could hear these loud sounds, like people moaning and wind chimes.  Jamie couldn’t hear them at all.  Then I was drawn to the largest of the standing stones in what Jamie described as a trance-like state and he grabbed me before I could touch the stone.  Jamie told me I might be The Woman of Balnain”, Claire explained.

 

“Aye, I know that tale well.  The woman who travelled to a far distant land and, according to Mrs Graham, through the veil of time.  Remarkable”, Ellen mused.

 

“Ellen, Jamie and I wondered if I went through the stones around the time of Culloden, when I disappeared.  It would explain why Jamie couldn’t let me know he was still alive and why I didn’t return until so much later.  And we wondered if I was with child, or a child went through with me”, Claire told her.

 

“Aye, well it’s as good an explanation as any.  He would have wanted to protect his bairn.  The hardship that followed Culloden was heart-breaking.  There’s a good deal written about it”, Ellen replied in a sad tone.  “Ye should talk to Mrs Graham about it.  She has a keen interest and knows far more than I.”

 

“And then we went to Culloden”, Jamie told Ellen.  “We visited the Fraser grave marker and talked of Murtagh.  But Claire’s clearest memories came when we visited Beaufort Castle.  She had a clear recollection of old Lord Lovat and his son, Simon.  ‘The old coot’ as Claire described him”, Jamie laughed.

 

“Weel, that’s one of the politer things I’ve heard Lovat called.  He was a _conniving_ old coot for sure”, Ellen said with disapproval.  “Why did ye recall him Claire?”

 

“Because he was prepared to sacrifice his own son and grandson if it would give him a financial advantage.  Unbelievable Old Fox”, Claire said shaking her head.

 

They went on to recount their experiences at Cranesmuir and Castle Leoch and Claire asked Ellen: “What’s a Beaton?” 

 

“Ah, I havena heard that name used in a while.  A Beaton was a healer or charmer.  The Beatons were a family known for their healing skills.  One of them wrote an ancient book, _The Physicians Guide and Handbook,_ which detailed recipes for common ailments.  I dinna have it but I’ve seen it referred to in histories of Scotland.”

 

“Ah, the Beaton name came to me when we were in a room at Castle Leoch.  I could smell herbs and salve, but Jamie couldn’t.  Maybe the room had been used by a healer long ago”, Claire surmised.

 

“Well, ye two have been on a most unusual journey that others could only dream of.  And the tea leaves were certainly right about yer near future.  Ye look wonderful together”, Ellen smiled.

 

Jamie’s face fell as Claire told Ellen: “I have to go back to London in a few days.  I have to ship Frank’s things to him, organise my life, resign my job and so on.  Are you sure you’re comfortable with me coming back here to live Ellen?  I don’t want to be an imposition.”

 

“Claire, I would love for ye to come and live here for as long as ye wish, and I can tell it would make Jamie very happy.  It’s a large home designed for a family not an old lady living on her own.  Come back as soon as ye can.  I can see Jamie willna be settled until ye’re safely back wi’ us”, Ellen reassured her.  “By the time ye get back, we will have organised everything for ye.  I firmly believe this was meant to happen.”

 

That night, Jamie joined Claire in the Laird’s bedroom.  He had described a certain discomfort in the room before, but with Claire sleeping with him he felt far more relaxed: “Maybe I just felt wrong without ye”, he smiled as he hugged her.

 

“I need to be back at work on Monday.  What would you like to do on our last day?” Claire asked him.

 

“I’ll need to check the perimeter of the farm tomorrow.  I’ve neglected the place a little.  Would ye like to walk around with me and I’ll show ye the views from the high points?” he suggested.

 

“I would like that very much.  Now, come under these blankets and show me _your_ high points, Jamie Fraser”, she giggled.

 

“Ye really are insatiable aren’t ye, Sassenach”, he smiled.

 

“Jamie, I can’t bear the thought of being away from you.  I’ll be back as soon as humanly possible”, she told him as she kissed him.  “Joe Abernathy is not going to _believe_ what has happened while I’ve been on leave!”

 

“Ye work with Joe, is that right?” Jamie asked.

 

“Yes, he and his wife Gail are my best friends.  Joe will be delighted I’m no longer with Frank – he was never a fan – but he won’t be expecting me to give up my job and move to Scotland.  He and I have worked together at The Royal London for a long time”, she told him.

 

“Well, ye havena even gone and I canna wait for ye to return Claire.  It’s hard to believe we havena known one another for long.  It feels like ye’ve been a part of me forever”, he said fondly.


	15. Take me home to Lallybroch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire returns to London to find a confusing situation and the value of her friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After spending the day touring _Lallybroch_ with Jamie, it was time for Claire to pack and head to the airport for her flight to London.  Having farewelled Ellen at _Lallybroch,_ Claire sat in Jamie’s car as he drove towards Edinburgh airport dreading having to say _au revoir_ to him.  Jamie’s hands were tense on the steering wheel and his face looked like it was sculpted from stone.  He too was brooding.

Suddenly, Jamie spoke: “Ye won’t change yer mind when ye’re back in London, will ye Claire?”

“Definitely not”, Claire replied.

“It’s just … it’s a big commitment to leave everything ye know in the big smoke and come to live in Scotland”, he suggested.

“Jamie, I felt a level of comfort with you in Scotland that I’ve never felt anywhere else.  It was, quite literally, coming home to be with the man I’d always loved.  I know it seems bizarre, but that’s the truth of it”, she smiled.

A slight smile lifted one side of his mouth as he muttered: “It is bizarre, but it’s the most comfortable I’ve ever felt too.”  His hand reached across and briefly touched hers before returning to the steering wheel.

They stood together nervously at the airline gate as the final call was made.  Their conversation had been a little tense, reflecting their reluctance to part.  Finally, Claire couldn’t put off their parting any longer.  She reached up and kissed Jamie: “I’ll call and let you know what’s happening.  I want to get back to you as soon as possible.  I’m going to miss you so much Jamie.”

“I canna wait Claire.  I wish ye didna have to go, but I’ll be here waiting for ye _mo nighean donn._   After 200 years, I dinna want to waste a moment with ye”, he grinned.

“I won’t look back as I head for the plane.  I just know I will cry if I do.  I love you”, Claire spluttered as she walked away from him.

He watched her go and continued watching, in case she should return.  The door to the plane closed and it taxied away.  She was gone.  Now he would count the hours and minutes.

It took Claire some minutes to compose herself.  She put earphones in to blot out noise and unwelcome conversation.  She breathed steadily.  The feeling of separation from Jamie was like nothing she’d experienced before.  She had always been an independent person.  She had friends whose company she enjoyed, but she had never experienced a feeling of being incomplete without someone before now.  It was quite unnerving yet exciting.  She wondered if Jamie felt it too.

He did.

On arrival at Heathrow, she collected her bags and headed to the Tube.  She and Frank had lived in an apartment within walking distance of Paddington Station for several years.  Claire would travel to work at the hospital by underground, while Frank would spend time at the university campuses of London and Oxford.  The train from Paddington to Oxford took little more than an hour, so it had been convenient.

Claire dragged her suitcase along the pavement towards the apartment.  Her mind was full of all that needed to be done.  As she approached the apartment building, she saw a light on in the lounge room window.  She was puzzled.  Frank was in the States, so who was in their apartment at night?  Why was there a ‘for lease’ sign in the window?  She hadn’t contacted the agent to terminate the lease.  Something told her she shouldn’t take the lift.

She stopped in the doorway of a nearby shop, well lit for security reasons, and rang Joe: “Joe, I’ve just returned from Scotland.  It’s a long story, but Frank is in the States but there’s someone in our apartment.  There’s a light on and I’m a bit worried.”

Joe, who lived a ten-minute drive away, told her: “Wait where you are.  I’m on my way LJ.”  Claire described where she was standing, and Joe replied: “I’m on my way right now.”

Claire backed into the doorway, her bag in front of her like a shield, and waited nervously.  She breathed a sigh of relief when Joe pulled up and jumped from the car.  He opened the boot and placed her bag in it.  They both looked up at the window of Claire’s apartment. 

“Jump in LJ.  I think we need to talk”, Joe told her. (Joe had referred to Lady Jane or LJ for as long as she could remember.)

As they drove towards Joe’s home, Claire did her best to explain to Joe all that happened.  Concerned that he might crash the car, she failed to mention that she had been married to Jamie 200 years ago.

Joe listened intently, then responded: “Claire, this is a very different story to the one Frank told me four days ago.”

“You spoke to Frank?” Claire said in surprise.

“Frank flew back from the States, came to the hospital and told me and others that you were leaving to live in the States.  He was back to get your belongings and you would be flying out with him at the end of this week.  There was no talk of you having left him.  He asked HR to send a reference on letterhead to your new address.  I don’t know what the hell is going on LJ, but I suspect it was Frank in the apartment and I’m glad you called me.  Let’s get you back to my place and work out a plan of action”, he said with concern.

Claire’s head was spinning.  Had Frank lost his mind?  What on earth was going on?

That night, Claire and Joe worked out a plan of action.  Claire slept at Joe’s home overnight.  The following morning, Joe and his wife Gail went to Claire’s apartment and knocked on the door.  Sure enough, Frank was there.  They told Frank they’d come to see Claire before she left.  Most of the contents of the apartment had been packed.  While Joe chatted to and distracted Frank, Gail had a look around.  She found flight details on the kitchen bench for Frank _and_ Claire.  Next to that were two passports – his and Claire’s.  Gail quietly removed Claire’s passport and slipped it in her coat pocket.  Some of the packed boxes were clearly marked with Claire’s name and the contents listed: clothes, books, shoes, antiques.

Gail overhead as Frank calmly explained to Joe that he and Claire were making a fresh start in the States.  He knew that Claire would be happier once she’d adjusted to life in America..  Joe smiled and listened, now knowing that Frank was delusional.  He wondered what Frank might have done if Claire had gone to the apartment the evening before and confronted Frank with the reality of the situation.  The man was in denial.

Joe and Gail bade Frank farewell and told him they’d return the next day to see if Claire was back.  They returned to their home and told Claire what they had seen and heard.

Claire was in shock: “But how did Frank think he was going to force me to go?  Was he going to kidnap me?”

Gail reached into her pocket and handed Claire her passport: “He had this sitting next to the flight details.  I removed it.  He doesn’t know.”

Joe looked intently at Claire: “LJ, you can’t go back to that apartment.  I believe the man is mentally unstable.  He clearly hasn’t accepted that you’ve left him.  Gail and I are agreed that you should leave for Scotland.  Have all your mail and anything else redirected to us here and we’ll arrange to forward it to you.  Don’t tell anyone else where you are.  Get away from him and contact a solicitor to begin divorce proceedings.”

“But what about all my belongings?”, Claire asked.

“LJ, they are things.  You have a man in Scotland you love, and he loves you.  You can start afresh.  Anything else is a memory of Frank and your time with him.  Wipe him from your life.  The man was always a pompous, egotistical stuffed shirt.  Now we can add crazy to the list. If Gail and I can salvage anything of yours, we’ll get it to you.  We want you to get away and stay safe … please.”  Joe looked at Claire with conviction and she knew he was right.  She booked the first available flight back to Edinburgh.  Joe and Gail escorted her to the gate to be sure she got away safely.

Claire boarded the plane and thought to herself: “Take me home to _Lallybroch._ ”


	16. They do it with mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire arrives back at Lallybroch and makes some more discoveries, as well as receiving some unsettling news.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jamie was chopping wood on a hill overlooking his home when he saw a vehicle approaching.  Ellen had gone into town for some supplies, but it wasn’t her car returning.  As it came closer, he realised it was a taxi.  He took his jacket from the top of the woodpile and donned it.  When the taxi pulled up just through the archway to the house, he saw a figure alight and the driver take a large, brightly coloured suitcase from the boot.  It was Claire’s case.  She was paying the driver, who soon turned and left.

He ran down the slope, almost losing his footing several times, in the rush to get to Claire.  When he reached her, he swept her up in his arms: “Claire, ye’re back already?  I don’t know how ye did it but I’m glad ye did!”  They kissed one another and he carried her bag into the house.

“Do ye want some tea?” he asked her with a wide smile.

“No, I want you”, she laughed.

Jamie immediately threw her over his shoulder and carried her up the stairs to the Laird’s room, both of them laughing.  They quickly stripped and jumped into bed.  There was a flurry of activity as they ran their hands over one another, kissing and nibbling as they led up to making love.  As Jamie parted her legs and entered her, she heard him exclaim: “Christ Claire, I missed ye.”

“I will never leave you again”, she whispered in his ear as he bit her neck.

Sated and relieved, they lay in bed facing one another: “How did ye manage to do everything and get back to me so soon?  I mean, I’m no’ complaining but I didna expect ye for weeks Sassenach”, Jamie said.

“Well, I could use that cup of tea now.  How about we dress, and I’ll tell you about it”, Claire replied.

They dressed quickly and went down to the kitchen, where Jamie put the kettle on.  It had just boiled when Ellen arrived home with a few bags of groceries.

“Ye’re just in time for Claire to tell us how she came back so quickly”, Jamie told his mother with a wide grin.

As they drank their tea, Claire told them of her doubts about returning to the apartment she had shared with Frank, the help she had received from Joe and Gail, her passport and the decision to leave as soon as possible.  Jamie’s wide grin gradually gave way to a look of concern: “Claire, he might have hurt ye – or worse” he said.

Ellen wore a thoughtful expression: “I only met Frank once, but I find that rather surprising.  I thought him to be more circumspect than that, very conservative and a man of words but not of deeds.  Still, his appearance must belie the nature of the man beneath. Thank goodness for Joe and Gail.  I’m delighted ye made it back to us safely, Claire.”

While Ellen spoke, Jamie was deep in thought: “Do ye think he might follow ye Claire?  Seek ye out and harm ye?  We must keep our wits about us and be sure to lock the doors at all times”, he frowned.  “And lock yer passport in the safe, so he canna get ye out of the country.”

“Do you keep the safe in the priest’s hole?” Claire asked as she sipped her tea.

“Do ye recall the priest’s hole?”, Ellen said in surprise.

“Yes, both of them”, Claire replied.

“ _Both_ of them?” Jamie asked with a surprised expression.

“Yes, under the stairs and off the library”, Claire replied.  She was intent on the shortbread in her hand and hadn’t noticed the expressions on Jamie’s and Ellen’s faces.

“Can you show us the one off the library Claire?” Ellen asked.

“I think I can remember”, Claire said rising from the chair.  “I recalled it when Jamie said ‘we must keep our wits about us’.  Ian and Jenny used to say that.”  She led them towards the library.  In one corner of the library was an ornate mirror.  Claire pulled it down and to the right.  A panel clicked and she opened it.  Behind the panel were stairs leading upward.

“This stairway isn’t on the plans of the house”, Ellen said in surprise.

“No, Brian Fraser had it installed as a late addition when trouble with the British arose”, Claire told them. 

The stairway was filled with cobwebs and there was little light.  Ellen fetched a broom while Jamie found a torch.  Jamie led the way tentatively, testing each step as they rose into a mezzanine area behind some of the bookcases in the library.  When they were all at the top of the stairs, he shone the torch around the space.  There were some bench seats on two walls, candle holders fixed to the walls and two old wooden chests in a corner.  The only sparse natural light was provided by three small ‘peep holes’ in an external wall.  When Jamie wiped them and looked through them, he could just see the roadway leading to the house and the stables.

The chests were locked, so they manoeuvred them to the top of the steps and struggled to carry them down to the library below.  They were covered with dust but were well made and secure.  Ellen had a collection of ancient keys in a kitchen drawer and they tried them all, eventually finding one which managed to open the locks.

There were bolts of fabric atop the contents of the larger chest, but beneath they found some amazing clothing: the red silk dress worn by Lady Broch Tuarach and the clothing worn by Lord Broch Tuarach in the portrait that had begun their voyage of discovery, other ornate gowns, jewellery and shoes.

In the second chest were some old documents written in French, two ornate dirks, some small antiques, and a wooden box which was opened by Ellen.

“What have you found Ellen?” Claire asked.

“Apostle spoons.  A christening gift for a bairn.  These are a Fraser family heirloom, but one is missing.  There should be one for each apostle, but there are only 11.  I wonder what happened to the other one?” she mused.

“Faith”, said Jamie.  “The child we lost.  On the videos Denzell recorded, we were speaking French at the time Claire lost Faith.  We must have still been in France.  Maybe the twelfth spoon was for her and it stayed with her in France.  It must have been difficult for them leaving knowing they might never see her grave again.  I canna fathom how that would feel.”

Jamie took Claire in his arms: “Do ye think they brought the spoons back for the other bairns they hoped to have?”

“I think that’s quite possible”, Claire replied.  “But their situation changed so much, and for the worse.”

“This is an amazing find, Claire.  We had no idea about that hideaway.  This is all so remarkable”, Ellen smiled.  “Who knows what else might be revealed?”

While Ellen and Jamie pored over the documents in the second chest, Claire went up to the Laird’s room to unpack her case.  The clothes in that case were all that she had to wear.  The decision to leave London in haste meant she would need to buy a range of clothes, shoes and other things.  She was making a list of what she had brought, and what she would need, when her phone rang.  She took it from her bag and saw Joe’s name on the screen: “Hi Joe.  How is everything?”

“I think you should find Jamie and sit down, LJ”, Joe said quietly.

Claire had no idea why Joe would think that, but she knew he would have his reasons.  She went down the stairs and into the library, where Ellen and Jamie were still looking at the contents of the chest: “It’s Joe.  He says I need to be near you when he tells me something”, Claire told them.

“OK.  Jamie and Ellen are with me and I’m sitting down Joe”, Claire told him.  “Why are you so concerned?”

“LJ, I’m at the hospital and Frank has just been brought in.  There’s no easy way to say this – he’s dead.”


	17. Back to London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News of Frank's death results in Claire returning to London, this time with Jamie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once she was over the initial shock at the news of Frank's death, Claire realised that she was still Frank’s wife and that she would need to take responsibility for his burial and the legalities.  Frank had no other family she knew of.  Jamie also realised that he needed to support Claire, and that he didn’t want her to go to London alone.

Ellen reassured them that she could cope at _Lallybroch_ while they were away, and Mrs Graham would be happy to drop in each day to check on her.

They made bookings on the sleeper train overnight to London and Joe offered them the guest bedroom at his home.  Bags were quickly packed, and they were en route that evening.

By the time they arrived in London the following morning, the coroner had arranged for a post-mortem on Frank, to determine how and why he had died.  He had been found in his car, which had crashed into a streetlamp, but there were no obvious injuries that could have caused his death. 

Claire was given a box of belongings which had been found with Frank – his clothing, keys, wallet, watch, shoes and some papers in a small briefcase.  While they waited for the post-mortem report, she and Jamie went to the apartment in which Claire and Frank had lived.  There were numerous packed boxes, neatly labelled, and some personal items of Frank’s.  His diary was on the kitchen bench with details of flights, colleagues in the US and UK and some unopened correspondence.  The only furniture remaining was a bed.

“Jamie, I don’t feel comfortable about going through Frank’s things at the moment.  I know I have to let his university in Boston know that he won’t be back, and I need to arrange his funeral, but I’d prefer to go through these boxes later.  What do you think?” she asked, looking emotional.

“We can arrange to have these boxes delivered to _Lallybroch,_ Claire.  Ye can go through them slowly then.  There’s plenty of room in the house and stables.  If ye dinna want to do it now, do it later”, Jamie replied.  He took Claire in his arms: “Frank was part of yer life and although ye had decided to leave him, it’s natural that ye would feel emotional.  Take yer time and do it yer way Sassenach.”  He kissed the top of her head and she dug her head into his chest: “Thank you” she said.

Joe rang Claire late in the day: “I’m bringing a copy of the post-mortem report home with me this evening.  You can read it after dinner LJ.  Once the coroner has given you clearance, you can arrange Frank’s funeral.”

Claire and Jamie headed back to Joe and Gail’s home and, as promised, Joe produced the report after dinner.  Claire read through the detailed ‘macroscopic’ report, detailing the condition of Frank’s body, and then read the summary aloud to Jamie and Gail:

 

 

 

> _It is my conclusion that Dr Frank Randall died as a consequence of a ruptured brain aneurysm resulting in a rapid and massive brain injury from the initial bleeding.  A ruptured aneurysm can cause serious health problems such as hemorrhagic stroke, brain damage, coma, and death. High blood pressure is the leading cause of subarachnoid hemorrhage. Heavy lifting or straining can cause pressure to rise in the brain and may lead to an aneurysm rupture. All cerebral aneurysms have the potential to rupture and cause bleeding within the brain or surrounding area. There was evidence of fatty deposits and damaged tissue in the arteries which may also have contributed to Dr Randall's aneurysm._

“So, Frank may have done too much heavy lifting or straining while he was packing?” Gail asked.

“It’s possible.  It may also explain Frank’s strange behaviour, but we can’t be sure”, Joe explained.

“Do ye think he may have been driving to the hospital?” Jamie asked.

“He was heading in that direction, but it’s hard to know if he was aware of where he was going.  He was likely to be suffering from severe headaches and pain behind his eyes”, Joe commented.  “It was fortunate that no one else was injured.”

“I’ll contact a funeral director tomorrow” Claire told them.  “Thanks for all your help everyone.  This would have been difficult to face alone.”

The four of them chatted until quite late.  Claire was about to head to bed when Joe took her aside: "I like Jamie.  He's very real, unlike Frank.  You two are so comfortable together, it's like you've known him forever."

"I'm glad you like him Joe.  And yes, it does feel like I've known him for hundreds of years", Claire smiled.  "Goodnight and thanks for everything Joe."

By the time the coroner gave Claire the clearance to arrange Frank’s burial the next afternoon, she’d already contacted a funeral director and had necessary arrangements in place.  Frank would be cremated, and his ashes would be placed in a London graveyard with a plaque.  The boxes he had packed were picked up ready for their journey to _Lallybroch._ Keys were returned to the property manager.

Claire and Jamie would fly back to Edinburgh.  As she packed, Claire opened the briefcase Frank had in the car when he crashed and glanced at the papers inside: “Jamie, look at this.  Frank was collecting old documents about Lord and Lady Broch Tuarach.”

Claire spread the documents out on the bed: copies of Jamie’s birth certificate dated May 1st 1721, Jamie and Claire’s marriage certificate from 1743, and Jamie’s name on a prisoner list at Ardsmuir in 1753.

“How would he have got these?”, Jamie asked.

“Frank was a meticulous historian”, Claire told him.  “I wonder what else he found out about us.”

Claire took more documents from an envelope.  “Good grief, this looks like a photograph of me in an old newspaper.  It’s dated May 5th 1946.  Look at the headline: _Woman still missing in Inverness area._   Jamie, it says I went missing at Craig na Dun near the Beltane festival.  And here’s another article dated April 1948 about my mysterious reappearance. I look miserable.  I disappeared for two years!”

Then Claire gasped and covered her mouth.  Her eyes popped: “Look at this!”  She handed Jamie a birth certificate dated November 23rd 1948.  Claire had given birth to a girl named Brianna Ellen.

“Claire, this is only 7 months after ye reappeared in April 1948.  If ye did come back through the stones, ye must have been with child.  A daughter”, Jamie said in amazement.

“ _Our_ daughter, Jamie”, Claire added. 

They rifled through the remaining documents, but there was nothing else directly related to Brianna.  There were snippets of information about the Jacobite rebellion and Lord Lovat, but nothing specifically relating to Claire, Jamie or Brianna.  Maybe Frank’s death had interrupted his research.

Claire’s last job, after the burial, was to take Frank’s death certificate to his lawyer and arrange for the will to be executed.  Frank’s solicitor had an office in High Holborn.  Jamie wasn’t comfortable about going to the solicitor’s office and waited in a nearby café eating an early lunch.  The solicitor's office was next to Staple Inn, a part-Tudor building on the south side of High Holborn in the City of London.  It dated back to the 16th century, and is one of a handful of buildings which survived the Great Fire of London and the two World Wars.  The solicitor was like something out of Dickens.  Bookshelves filled with dusty old legal texts covered one wall, the large desk had a leather insert which could just be seen below the piles of legal files.  The solicitor himself looked like a Dickensian character, wearing a poorly trimmed beard and half-moon spectacles.  His poor skin suggested that he rarely saw the sun and spent most of his time in his office.  The only concession to the 21st century was a laptop computer sitting closed on a side desk.  Frank would have been fascinated with this man - he was living history.  She was sure that the _Bleak House_ characters created by Dickens, Mr. Tulkinghorn, Mr. Vholes, and Guppy the law clerk, belonged in this building.  Indeed, their characters and the legal practice had been set in Chancery, this area of London.

Claire hadn’t seen Frank’s will.  He had always been secretive about such things.  The solicitor informed her that the only beneficiaries, other than her, were a Mr and Mrs Roger Mackenzie of Inverness.  Claire had never heard of the couple and asked the solicitor if he knew anything about them at all – he didn’t, other than their address.

“However, Mrs Randall, Frank was very specific in his instructions about Mr and Mrs Mackenzie”, the solicitor told her over his half-moon spectacles.  “The items left to them are in a secure package in a safe deposit box here.  I am to inform them that you will deliver the box to them at their home in Inverness.  In person.”

“But I don’t know them at all.  Why would Frank specify that?” Claire said looking puzzled.

“I have no idea Mrs Randall.  I am merely the messenger”, the solicitor replied.  “Now, I have a list of Frank’s assets in this envelope which he has left to you.  I will arrange for these to be transferred to you as they become available.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.  Please leave your contact details with my secretary as you leave.  She will give you the package from the safe deposit box and will ask you to sign agreeing to the terms”, he said rising from his chair.  It was clear that the meeting was over.


	18. The riddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie conclude their business in London and return to Scotland with a mystery package.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Claire walked to the café, where Jamie had just finished his lunch and ordered a coffee.  Claire ordered a small pot of tea and scones.

“Well, how did ye go?  What’s in the package?” Jamie asked.

Claire described the meeting in the solicitor’s office and told Jamie that the package was to be delivered to a Mr and Mrs Roger Mackenzie in Inverness.  “They live in the Presbyterian Manse”, Claire told him.

“How do ye know them Claire?” Jamie asked.

“I don’t.  I haven’t heard of them before.  Frank never mentioned them”, Claire answered.  “One of the terms of the will was that I deliver the package to them unopened and in person.  It’s all a mystery.  The solicitor also gave me a list of Frank’s assets which I’ve inherited.  I haven’t even looked at it yet.”

Claire took the envelope from her pocket and opened it.  Her eyes widened as she read the list of assets: “I’d no idea Frank had so much in bank deposits and he never mentioned owning a portfolio of shares.  It seems I get the balance of his pension fund too.  Jesus H Roosevelt Christ!”

Jamie looked up and smiled: “Where did ye get that expression come from?”

“No idea.  I’m just amazed at how much Frank had quietly amassed without telling me” she said as she slipped the list and envelope into her shoulder bag.  She was feeling like she’d been married to a stranger.

When they’d finished eating and drinking, they took the package and returned to Joe and Gail’s home by London taxi.  There were a few small things to settle before they returned to Scotland.  They decided to fly back as they were both keen to be there for Ellen and to tell her what had been happening.

They’d been back at _Lallybroch_ for a few days before Claire rang Mr and Mrs Mackenzie to make a time to deliver the package: November 22nd at midday.  She and Jamie would leave _Lallybroch_ at about 9.30am and had been invited for lunch.  Roger Mackenzie had sounded a wee bit elderly and _very_ Scottish, Claire thought.  He was as curious as she to find out what this inheritance was all about.

When they arrived at the Manse, Jamie knocked on the door.  The man who opened the door introduced himself as Jemmy MacKenzie, “short for Jeremiah” he told them with a smile.  He took a long look at Claire: “I think I’d better tell Ma to sit down afore she meets ye.  Ye have a really strong resemblance to my Granny – at least from the photographs I’ve seen.  I never met her unfortunately.”

Jemmy led them into the Manse dining room, where the MacKenzies were laying the table, and introduced them: “My parents, Roger and Brianna MacKenzie.”  Brianna looked up and then slumped into a dining chair.  Roger stood with his mouth gaping.

“My word”, Roger finally said.  “Ye look so like a young version of Brianna’s late Ma, Claire.  Ye even have the same name.  It’s remarkable!”

Brianna was speechless and clearly emotional: “You don’t look _similar,_ you look _exactly_ like her, save the hairstyle.”  She rose from the chair and took two photos from the shelves behind her: “Have a look at these.”  Claire and Jamie looked at the photos of Brianna with her mother.  Brianna was now grey haired, but in the photos she had long, red hair and her likeness to Jamie was clear: the hair, the eyes, her height and the smile.  Claire was … well, Claire.

Roger invited them to sit at the table while he and Jemmy carried platters and dishes full of food into the dining room.  Brianna talked to them about the package, but they were unable to answer most of her questions. They chatted over lunch about Inverness and Scotland in general.  They were feeling their way.

Finally, Jemmy suggested they open the parcel: “I think we should share in the mystery.  I canna wait”, he laughed.  Roger passed the parcel to Brianna: “Ye can start.”

There were several, separately wrapped items in the package Frank had left with his solicitor.  Brianna removed the smallest of these and opened it carefully.  Inside was a small yet sturdy box containing a pearl bracelet.  The bracelet was a lovely thing, a single row of large baroque pearls set between twisted gold chains.  With it was a card, with small, neat script written on it: _It is said that Sir Marcus MacRannoch of Eldridge Hall gifted these pearls to Lady Broch Tuarach of Lallybroch._

Brianna held the pearls up to the light shining through the large, leadlight windows of the rectory.  “These are just like the pearls my mother gave me.  She told me my father had given them to her on their wedding day.  Roger, do you remember where they are in our bedroom?”  she asked.

“I do.  I’ll fetch them for you”, he replied.  Roger disappeared up the stairs and returned holding the pearl necklace.  They lay the necklace and bracelet together on the table.  They were clearly a matching set.

Jamie reached out to touch Claire’s arm and whispered: _For a virtuous woman is a pearl of great price, and her value is greater than rubies._

Jamie’s recollection of MacRannoch’s message prompted Claire to recall the night she had burst into his house seeking help to save Jamie.  Of the wolf pack, Murtagh and the cattle that burst into Wentworth Prison so they could free Jamie, who had been tortured and near death.  The recollection sent a shiver through her body and she held Jamie’s hand tightly.  “How the hell did Frank get hold of these?” she muttered.

Brianna and Roger were looking with concern.  Claire had paled and Jamie’s pallor was almost grey.

“Are you both alright?  Roger, fetch the whisky”, Brianna suggested.  Roger took a bottle of whisky and glasses from the bookshelf.  Claire and Jamie downed theirs promptly.  “Just some unpleasant memories”, Claire told them.

Brianna opened the second parcel to reveal a heavy dress from the 18th century.  There were also a pair of fingerless gloves.  As she stood and lifted the dress to get a better look at it, a ring fell from a pocket just below the bodice.  The ring was of worn gold and the setting, which should have been holding a gemstone, was empty. 

Jamie said nothing, but the ring was familiar to him.  As he recalled, it had held a cabochon ruby and had belonged to his family hundreds of years before. He thought he’d seen it in a portrait of his great, great grandfather. He wondered what could have become of the ruby but remained silent.

The last package, at the bottom of the box, was a large manilla envelope removed by Roger.  Claire immediately recognised it as quite old.  The shape of the envelope was the old-fashioned foolscap size, common in Britain before the international standard A4 paper replaced it.  Roger removed a folder containing loose foolscap pages, held together by a bulldog paper clip.  The pages were beginning to yellow a little.  As he leafed through it, Roger commented: “This is written on an old typewriter.  I’d forgotten how uneven the type could be.”

He focussed on a note attached to the front of the hundred or so pages: “It’s addressed to you Brianna”, he said passing it to her.

 

 

> _My precious Brianna, I have cherished you since the day you were born.  My love, and that of your mother, has always been unconditional.  However, it is now my job as a historian to give you as full an account of the life of your father as I have been able to pull together.  I hope you can read it and understand your proud heritage. Please, just accept it and do not question it too much. I also hope you can forgive my predecessor, Jonathan Wolverton Randall, for the pain he caused your mother and father.  He was once a hero to me, but now commands nothing more than my contempt.  Your loving Daddy._

“It’s almost like leaving someone a riddle”, Roger said as he collected up the whisky glasses.


	19. Generations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie begin to piece together the timeline of their daughter’s life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It had been a long, tiring day, both emotionally and physically.  Claire and Jamie were giving off all the non-verbal signals of an imminent departure: sitting forward in their chairs, trying to bring conversations to a comfortable close and looking at their watches and one another.  Then the heavens opened, the thunder and lightning drew closer and the wind, combined with the rain, made for poor driving conditions.

“Ye must stay the night”, Brianna insisted.  “Ye canna drive home in these conditions.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine”, Claire replied looking at Jamie.

“No, we insist.  We couldna live with ourselves if anything should happen to ye.  And if ye break down, ye could be stranded in flood waters”, Roger added.

“If ye stay, ye can meet my sister Mandy.  She’s coming tomorrow morn for Ma’s birthday.  Ma wouldna thank me for telling ye, but she’ll be 71 tomorrow”, Jem told them with a cheeky grin.

Claire’s mental arithmetic did a quick calculation.  Brianna had been born on 23rd November 1948.  Tomorrow was 23rd November 2019.  She would be 71.  Then it was true.  That was the birth date on her daughter’s birth certificate.  Roger was her son-in-law.  Jem and Mandy were her grandchildren – and they were all older than the Jamie and Claire standing in the Manse.  This was a most peculiar case of generational anxiety disorder.

Jamie was looking concerned: “We didna bring a change of clothes or toothbrushes – anything much really.  It’s very kind of ye but …”.  He didn’t finish the sentence.

“That’s fine.  We always keep the guest bathroom stocked with spares.  There are towelling gowns in the guest room too.  If ye want, we can wash and dry any clothes ye’d like cleaned overnight.  It’s no trouble”, Briana told them.  “I’d love to have the chance to continue chatting with you”, she said looking directly at Claire.

Claire was feeling that to reject their invitation would be rude.  She held Jamie’s hand and squeezed it: “Well, if you’re absolutely sure.”

As Brianna put on the kettle to make a hot drink, Roger showed them up the stairs to the guest room and showed them where to find what they might need.  It was still pouring outside, and the lightning continued to flash, so they left the few things they had brought with them in the car.

“We’ll just freshen up and join you downstairs if that’s alright”, Claire suggested. 

“That’s a fine idea”, Roger said and left them alone.

Jamie slumped down on the bed and patted the space next to him, indicating that he wanted to speak to Claire.  When she was close to him, he put his arm around her and said quietly: “Is it possible that the elderly couple downstairs are our daughter and her husband?  And that Jem is our grandson?  Or am I just losing my marbles?”

“Well, maybe all of the above”, Claire smiled.  “I mean, you saw that photo of Brianna with the former me when she was a child – she looked so much like you that photo was screaming ‘Jamie’s daughter’ at me.  And the birthday is right.  That can’t just be a coincidence.”

“So, we’re younger than our daughter _and_ our grandson.  I mean Sassenach, that’s more than a wee bit crazy, is it not?” Jamie sniggered.

“Indeed, it is.  We daren’t say too much or we’ll be sectioned and carted off to the closest mental health facility”, Claire laughed.  “At least we’d be locked up together.”

“Don’t jest.  It could happen”, Jamie said looking perplexed.

“Let’s go downstairs and play it carefully”, Claire said kissing him.

They ventured downstairs to a choice of pot of tea or hot chocolate and thick slices of Victoria sponge.  Claire chose tea: “Oh, this is Oolong – my favourite”, she said with glee.

“It’s my mother’s favourite too”, Brianna said astonished.

Claire wasn’t sure if she was going too far, but she asked anyway: “Your mother is still alive then?”

Brianna paused to regain her composure: “No, no she’s not.  She died a long time ago.  Roger and I believe she died of a broken heart.  Sounds like a cliché but in her case, we believe it to be true.”

“I’m sorry”, Claire replied.

“Sit down, I’ll tell you about it”, Brianna told them.

“You don’t have to”, Jamie said with concern.

“No, but I’d like to, as this seems to be a day to question my roots”, Brianna replied.

They all sat in comfortable chairs with their drinks and cake as Brianna took a breath and launched into her story: “I was brought up as an only child in what I thought was a perfectly normal parental relationship.  It wasna until Daddy died that my Ma told me she was going on a journey to search for my real Da.  I was knocked for six.  There I was, almost twenty years old, and for the first time I found out that Daddy wasna my birth father.  At first, I was _very_ angry with her.  Then I realised that she’d never really _lied,_ she and Daddy just hadna told me the _truth.”_

Brianna paused to sip her tea and compose herself: “So, at the age of 50 my Ma prepared herself for a trip into the unknown.  I was both terrified and admiring of her.  She always was a wee bit intrepid”, Brianna smiled.

“Anyway, a few months later she returned.  She was different.  I could tell straight away that something was wrong.  She finally told Roger and I that she had found my Da but that he had been in a fire in Edinburgh.  He had rescued his nephew from the fire and had serious burns.  She saw him before he died, and she knew he’d recognised her because he called her _mo nighean donn_ and Sassenach – his favourite names for her.”  A single tear fell down her cheek as she added: “She died within the year.  It was like she had nothing else to live for.  She told me that she wanted to spend the rest of her days with him and now he was gone she wanted to go too.  I truly believe she thought she’d see him again in the afterlife.  I hope she did.”

When she looked up, Brianna saw that everyone in the room was either teary-eyed or actually shedding tears.

“Ye havena spoken of yer mother in a long time”, Roger said as he hugged her.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard that story”, Jem said with emotion.

“No, I suppose I haven’t spoken of it.  I think the parcel brought things into my mind, and ye look so much like her Claire”, Brianna said holding out her hand in Claire’s direction.  Claire moved closer to her and kissed her on the cheek: “Thank you for sharing that with us.  I feel sure that your mother and father would have been incredibly proud of you and your beautiful family.”

“I really wish I could have met my birth Da and that they could have known their grandchildren.  Jem and Mandy never had any grandparents and I know how much I wish I’d met mine, but … no point in wishing for something you canna have”, Brianna said sadly.

Jamie was busting to tell Brianna everything he and Claire had discovered, to take her in his arms and tell her how incredible it was to meet her and to know that she would have loved to meet him but it was all too much, and too quick.  He and Claire would need to talk about this amazing meeting and what to do.  And to try to puzzle out how Frank had brought it all about.  For the first time he felt some gratitude and positive regard for Frank Randall.

 


	20. Slàinte mhath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brianna makes an unexpected visit to Lallybroch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They had already eaten breakfast at the Manse the following morning when Mandy arrived.  Unlike Jem, who had the distinctive red hair of Jamie and Brianna, Mandy had curly black hair similar to Claire’s.  She had left her partner and child at home in bed sick, to the disappointment of Claire and Jamie who were secretly wondering what their great grandchild might look like.

Seeing the four MacKenzies together warmed Claire’s heart.  Jem and Mandy were obviously very close and shared a clear sibling rapport.  Their love for their parents was obvious.  Mandy was bearing a carefully wrapped gift for Brianna, prompting Jem and Roger to produce their gifts.  As she unwrapped each gift, it was clear that thought and genuine knowledge of their wife and mother had gone into each gift.

Claire was feeling self-conscious about the lack of a gift from she and Jamie, until Brianna excitedly told Mandy about the inheritance parcel.  After she’d opened her birthday gifts, she showed Mandy the pearls, dress and typewritten pages left to her.  As Brianna was displaying the pearls again, Mandy turned to Claire:

“So, ye must have been asked to bring this parcel to Ma because ye were related to Granny.  Ye look so much like her in the photos Ma has”, Mandy smiled.

“That’s pretty much what I said Mandy.  It’s remarkable is it not?” Jem chimed in.

“Well, we haven’t actually established why I was asked to bring the parcel.  I was abiding by instructions from my late husband Frank and his solicitor in London”, Claire replied.

Mandy looked curious.  She felt her question had only been half answered but decided it might be impolite to pursue the issue.

After coffee, Jamie and Claire began their farewells.  Brianna was insisting they visit again.  Jamie suggested they visit _Lallybroch_ and gave them simple directions and his phone number. 

They drove away from the waving Mackenzies. Jamie had driven for about half an hour before stopping in a small village and suggesting they have a walk.  He really wanted to talk about what had happened.

“How could Frank have organised all that Claire?  How could he have known?” Jamie mused as they walked around the quaint village.

“We don’t know that he did expect you to be with me, do we?  And he surely didn’t anticipate having a brain aneurysm and dying relatively young?” Claire suggested.  “We can’t be sure of anything, because we can’t ask him how and why he did it.  If that folder contains details of the Fraser family it would have to make reference to _Lallybroch_ and Brianna will make the connection with your home”, she added.

“Do ye think we should tell her about Denzell and the videos?”, Jamie asked.

“I think we should wait to see what happens.  She has the folder and your address and phone number.  Let’s see what she chooses to do with that information”, Claire told him as she held his arm and they walked back to the car.

Claire had thought that it would be a while before Brianna called, if at all.  However, it was a surprise to find her on the doorstep the following Sunday.

“I hope it’s a convenient time for me to come.  I couldna wait any longer.  Roger has to take the Sunday services at the kirk, so I’ve come alone”, she told Jamie when he opened the door.

“Ye’re very welcome”, he smiled and kissed her on the cheek.  He ushered her into the library, where Ellen and Claire were reading the Sunday newspapers.  Ellen immediately offered to put the kettle on and make some sandwiches.  Brianna looked around the room, admiring the aged books in their old bookcases: “This is beautiful.  What a wonderful home.”

When Ellen returned, they sat at the reading table.  Brianna took the seat next to Ellen, and Claire was immediately struck by the likeness between the two older women.  As they ate, Brianna told them: “I read the pages in the folder ye brought to me.  It was fascinating.  I brought it with me for ye to read.  I think ye’ll find it incredibly interesting because it’s largely about _your_ forebears Jamie.  Which raises the question – why did Frank want me to know so much about _your_ family?”

Jamie and Claire had told Ellen about the package they’d delivered, so she was aware of its contents.  She quietly stood and went to the bookcase containing the book with the portrait of Lord and Lady Broch Tuarach.  She opened the book and, without a word, placed the opened page with the portrait in front of Brianna.

Brianna looked at the portrait, raised her eyes to Jamie and Claire, and looked back at the portrait several times.  She looked at the date in the front of the book, frowned and went back to the portrait: “It’s as if ye two met hundreds of years ago and never aged.  Why did Frank want me to know so much about them?  I’m still puzzled”, she asked.

Claire looked at Jamie and he nodded – he knew what Claire was about to tell Brianna: “Brianna, what I’m about to tell you will sound ridiculous, but I can assure you it’s true.  Lord and Lady Broch Tuarach were your parents.  Frank was a historian who specialised in that period of history.  He must have been gathering evidence of your parentage and wanted you to know your birth family.  You are a Fraser.  You are related to Jamie and Ellen.  You said you wanted to know if your mother found your father in the afterlife.  Well, she did.  I was your mother, I am living in the afterlife and Jamie is too.  And I think it might be an idea if we all have a whisky.”

Brianna sat back in her chair, her eyes moving to each of their faces in turn.  Her mouth and eyes were wide open as she took in what she had heard.  Jamie stood to get the decanter of whisky and four glasses.  They were all silent.

After several minutes, Brianna surprised them: “That is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard, and yet I know it to be true.  Yer insane likeness to my mother, the Oolong tea, Frank wanting ye to bring me the parcel, the dress, the pearls, my and Jem’s red hair.  Oh Lord, it all fits.  And it all corresponds with the information in Frank’s pages of history.  Everyone will believe us to be insane.  Hand me that whisky … Da” she laughed.

 _“Slàinte mhath_ ”, they cheered as their glasses clinked and they knocked back the whisky.

Ellen kissed Brianna on the cheek: “Welcome to the Fraser family” she smiled.

“If ye’ll forgive me Ellen, I’m no’ going to try to work out my relationship to ye at the moment.  I think I’ve got enough to take in for today as it is”, Brianna laughed.  “But I have to tell ye, this somehow feels right.” 


	21. The Randalls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brianna explains what she found in the folder left by Frank.

 

 

   

 

 

 

After a walk around the house and a chance to chat, Brianna looked at her watch and told them she would need to leave soon as she didn’t want to drive all the way home in the dark.  Ellen suggested a cup of coffee before she left and went to the kitchen to make it.

Claire and Jamie sat in the lounge room with Brianna.  Claire felt she had to ask: “Brianna, you seem to have accepted our account of your birth family a little easier than I thought you might.  What was it that convinced you?”

Ellen returned with the coffee and joined them.  Brianna sipped from her cup as she explained: “I think ye’ll understand when ye see Frank’s folder.  The notes and references are not all his own work.  The Frank who preceded him in the Randall family was also an historian, it seems.  He began research on Jonathan Wolverton Randall, who was a minor knight in England during the time of the Jacobite Rising.  Jonathan’s son, Denys, and wife Mary Hawkins Randall had stored a chest of his belongings including a very old diary in a loft in the ancestral family home in Sussex which remained in the family for centuries. 

When Jonathan died at Culloden his body, unlike most of the other British officers, was not returned to England for burial but the chest of belongings did remain with his family.  Years later the first Frank opened the chest, continued researching Jonathan and then died, it seems in a car accident.  From what I read, that Frank added the dress, the old ring and the pearl bracelet to the chest with some newspaper cuttings and his work on the disappearance and reappearance of his pregnant wife Claire – my mother. The second Frank, your recently deceased husband Claire, carried on the research and joined all the dots.”

Jamie remained puzzled: “Aye, but how did he make the link with Jamie Fraser?  What convinced ye?”

“Jonathan did some dreadful things to a number of prisoners, including a Red Jamie or Jamie Fraser.  He also linked Jamie to an English woman, Claire Beauchamp.  In his diary, he is infuriated when Jamie rescued his wife Claire and prevented him from questioning her.  He makes reference to them a number of times.  Jonathan only just survived when a group of Jacobites attacked Wentworth Prison and rescued Jamie, who Randall had tortured.  Jamie became his bête noire. The second Frank followed through his research on Red Jamie to find he adopted a number of names after Culloden, the final one being Alexander Malcolm.  Alexander Malcolm died in a fire in Edinburgh, saving his nephew.  When I read that, I knew that was the man my mother had returned to find dying.  Frank also found out where Alexander Malcolm was buried.  You’ll find the details when you read the file.  I should warn you there are a few harrowing details about Jamie’s torture.  That’s why Frank had said in his note _‘He was once a hero to me, but now commands nothing more than my disdain’._ ”

They looked at one another in amazement.  Then Brianna added: “So, the one remaining mystery for me is – how the hell can ye two be sitting in a room with me?  How can my mother be younger than me?  Even younger than my own bairns?”

“Metempsychosis”, Ellen muttered.

“What on earth is that?”, Brianna asked.

“I think we need to make a time for you to return to _Lallybroch_ with Roger, Brianna.  It would take too long to cover all that today.  When you do return, we’ll show you some videos that might answer your one remaining mystery.  They are amazing.”

“And I can read yer tea leaves”, Ellen offered.

“God no.  Dinna go there, Ma!” Jamie said, jumping up from his seat.

Undeterred, Ellen told her: “It’s the art of tasseography my dear.  Fascinating.”

Claire laughed at the looks being exchanged between Ellen and Jamie.  She gathered Brianna’s coat and helped her don it.  As Brianna turned to look at her, Claire took her in her arms: “I can’t describe how wonderful it is to be able to share this with you.  For you to have found out that you’ve always belonged in Scotland as part of the Fraser clan, as well as the MacKenzies.  Do come back soon.”

Brianna shed a few tears: “I always knew my mother was a remarkable woman.  It’s wonderful to be able to tell her that again.  Thank you.”

When Brianna had left, Claire, Jamie and Ellen sat around the reading table in the library and began reading the contents of Frank’s folder.  As Claire read the first page, she passed it to Jamie, who passed it on to Ellen.  There were cries of “good grief”, “what a sadistic bastard” and “what did you make of this?” as the pages travelled around the table.  Some of what they read put other things they had seen and heard into context.  There were gaps in the research, of course, but the two Franks had generally been meticulous.  It was amazing reading.  Occasionally, Ellen rose from the table and found an old book which made reference to the events Frank detailed, providing further detail.  All of them stood and paced the room when they had read the accounts of what Jonathan Randall had subjected Jamie to.

That night, Jamie and Claire fell into bed together, utterly exhausted.  Jamie had been astonished by some of the accounts written by Jonathan Randall: “It makes the discomfort we both felt at Fort William make sense, Claire.  Everything we read reinforces it.”

“Yes, particularly the inflammation on your back.  The description of the whipping was sickening”, she said with a slight shiver.

“What do ye think Brianna will make of the videos?”, Jamie asked.

“Well, it will hopefully give some understanding of us being in the here and now”, she replied.  Claire moved closer and slipped her arm across Jamie’s waist.  His arm moved around her shoulders: “I loved ye then and I love ye now.  But I also love that we finally get time with the daughter I never knew.  She can tell me about the life she’s had, and she has the chance to see that she was born a Fraser.”

“I’m glad that you get the chance to see your child in this world”, she told him as she kissed his chest.

“Claire, do ye think that ye and I might have a bairn now?  In this life?  Brianna could become the only child to have a wee brother or sister who is over 70 years younger than she”, he smiled as he rolled on his side and faced her.

“Well, maybe we could get in some practice.  Practice makes perfect”, Claire replied, running her hand a little lower and finding him rising to the occasion.  Jamie gently pushed her on to her back and parted her legs.  His hand ran up the inside of her thigh and rested between her legs: “Are ye ready for me Sassenach?”

Claire ran her thumb along his length, and he trembled.  She felt his finger penetrate her and gasped.  “Aye, ye’re ready”, Jamie whispered as he hovered over her and entered her with a sigh.  “Being in ye is like coming home”, he told her as she gripped his buttocks.


	22. The MacKenzies at Lallybroch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brianna and her family visit Lallybroch to discover what metempsychosis revealed.

 

                                                                            

 

 

It was only a few days later that Brianna rang to make arrangements to visit again.  She had told Roger about her first visit to _Lallybroch_ in the presence of Jem and Mandy, and they were keen to visit too.  It was all arranged for the following Saturday.  They would come for lunch and then watch the videos produced by Denzell Hunter.

Ellen was in her element, cooking pies and preparing fresh vegetables from her garden.  Claire was arranging the dining table when they arrived.  Jamie organised drinks and they ate and drank together.  It was Ellen who finally suggested they watch the videos recorded by Denzell, which Jamie had set up in the library with a collection of comfortable chairs.

“You need to be aware that some of this content is not for the faint hearted”, Claire warned them.  “And it is, as Denzell described it, akin to _War and Peace._ We'll have one or two breaks so you can stretch your legs.”  Claire briefly described Denzell and his role in the process.  Roger, who had studied comparative religions as part of his degree in History of Theology, was fascinated in the reference to metempsychosis and the eastern religions.  Jem, with a strong interest in psychology, was interested in hypnotherapy.

They drew the curtains, dimmed the lights and began the tape recorded of Claire.  Her emotional recollections of the birth and death of Faith left both Brianna and Mandy sobbing.  They took a break and Mandy, holding Claire’s hand, told her: “Ma always had regrets about being an only child.  I think even more so since she’s seen how close Jem and I are.  If only Faith had lived.”

Claire threw a glance over her shoulder at Jamie, who had indicated more than once that they now had the opportunity to raise a child together.  He smiled and poured tea.  He had made it with tea bags to prevent Ellen diverting attention to the tea leaves and tasseography.  Ellen was not impressed.

They returned to watch the remainder of Claire’s video, and then Jamie’s.  Roger, who had read a swag of Scottish history books, sat looking stony faced at the screen: “This is even worse than the reading I’ve done.  Man’s inhumanity to man”, he mumbled angrily.  “Little wonder Frank felt contempt for this … pig.  The black sheep of the Randall family.” 

There was a sober silence while they ate sandwiches and cake after watching the videos.  Like Claire, Jamie and Ellen, it took the MacKenzies time to digest what they had seen and heard. 

It was finally Brianna who spoke: “Despite the incredible sadness, the feeling of love ye two had for one another was palpable.  I’ll confess that a part of me was angry when my mother returned to find Jamie, but now I understand the depth of their relationship and why she needed to know what happened to him and if they could be together again.  I certainly know that I was born from a remarkable love.”  Roger kissed the top of her head and squeezed her hand.  He had seen how torn Brianna had been when her mother left and then returned after finding Jamie at death's door.  That and her death not long after had left invisible scars.

Jem added: “At least the notes Frank left to Ma gave the detail that helped fill in the pieces.  We can thank him for that.”

Mandy wasn’t so generous: “I dinna think we should be _too_ generous toward Frank.  He didna intend Granny and Ma to find out about his research until he was dead.  If he’d lived to a ripe old age, Ma and Granny might have predeceased him and so might Jamie.  Jamie and Claire would have lost the chance to live the life they both should have had the first time around.  And Ma could have lost the chance to meet her Da and see Granny again.  I dinna think Frank was being exactly magnanimous.  He even tried to get Granny away to America when she met Ellen and Jamie, from what ye’ve told us.”

Roger smiled at his daughter and told them: “Mandy has a habit of seeing things clearly and no’ being afraid to share her thoughts.  But I have to agree with her.”

Ellen was wearing the widest smile: “Mandy, ye referred to Claire and Jamie as Brianna’s Ma and Da, and to Claire as yer Granny.  So, ye find it believable?”

“Oh yes.  So much of what they said did fit with Frank’s notes. Plus Granny talked of the sounds at the stones at Craigh na Dun.  Jem and I went there with friends one day and had exactly the same experience.  Her description was incredibly accurate.  We were both drawn towards the largest of the stones.  No-one else there could hear what we heard or felt the pull we did.  If they hadna been there, we could have been travelling in time too.  Eh Jem?”

“Aye, it was extraordinary.  We’ve never been back since, but we’ve heard stories of people who disappeared in the area, ne’er to be seen again”, Jem told them.  “And Ma showed us the newspaper articles talking of Granny going missing and then reappearing several years later.”

Jamie was fascinated to hear that Jem and Mandy had also heard the sounds at the stones, as he hadn't: "So, only some people are able to travel through the stones.  Maybe it's only certain families.  Have ye heard these sounds?" he asked Brianna and Roger.

"I've never been to the standing stones and I don't believe Roger has either.  Maybe we should experiment one day, as long as ye can come and prevent us from passing through Da", she smiled.

Claire had a suggestion for the gathering: “In Frank’s notes, he says he found out where Jamie was buried after he died from his burns in Edinburgh.  I wondered if any of you might like to go there?  I’d like to visit when the weather is a little warmer.”

It was unanimous.  They all wanted to visit.  Mandy asked if she might bring her partner and daughter, a three-year-old named Elspeth.  Claire couldn’t wait to meet her, especially when Mandy looked at Jamie and Jem and told them: “The red hair managed to make it into our family too.”

By the time the MacKenzies left, Claire felt she had known them forever.  There was a feeling of shared history and comfort she hadn’t expected when she and Jamie went to deliver the inheritance parcel.  Had Frank intended that?  She thought back to what Mandy said: _“He didna intend Granny and Ma to find out about his research until he was dead.  If he’d lived to a ripe old age, Ma and Granny might have predeceased him and so might Jamie.”_ That was true, but he could have hidden his research, in which case she probably wouldn’t be ready to shower and slip between the sheets with Jamie Fraser after spending the day with family she didn’t know she had.


	23. Greyfriars Kirkyard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire goes in search of the grave of Alexander Malcolm.

 

 

                                                                        

 

 

 

Having decided to remain in Scotland with Jamie, Claire began to look for work in a hospital or GP clinic.  Joe was to be her main referee and had suggested a few contacts he had met in training programmes and at conferences. 

It was on a trip to Edinburgh for an interview that Claire decided to look at Greyfriars Kirkyard, a historic cemetery located in the centre of Edinburgh’s Old Town.  It was here that Frank had said Alexander Malcolm was buried.  She thought a reconnoitre might be worthwhile before bringing the Fraser and MacKenzie families to visit.

She was surprised to find that the kirkyard was a tourist attraction, partly due to the popularity of Greyfriars Bobby, who had inspired JK Rowling and Harry Potter.  She walked slowly over the cobblestones, admiring the setting and the range of gravestones.  Some had clearly been erected by wealthy families, while others were modest.  Its location was on Candlemaker Row, on land granted by Mary Queen of Scots in the sixteenth century.

Parts of the graveyard were enclosed, and she felt sure she could roam around for hours without finding the grave of Alexander Malcolm.  Indeed, his gravestone might be in poor condition and almost impossible to read after over 200 years.

She wandered into an office at the rear of the Kirk and asked for assistance.  The graves had been catalogued and, with the help of a man who looked like he belonged to a previous century, she began to delve into the records.  She eventually found a catalogue entry for _Alexander Malcolm_ and was surprised to find that an addition had been made in recent years.  The print was small, and she squinted a little to read it:

 

> _New stone erected in correct name of individual buried.  Researched and funded by Dr F Randall._

She asked if this was irregular.  She was told it was not the only case of someone buried under an assumed name and later changed.  She was shown where to find the grave on a plan of the kirkyard and ventured into the light of day in search of it.

It didn’t take long to find the location of the gravestone, which now read: _In loving memory of James Fraser.  Beloved husband of Claire._

She knelt in front of the stone, in shock.  The depth of her emotion shocked her.  Not only had Frank acknowledged James Fraser but also his marriage to Claire.  Frank had known for some time about Jamie and Claire, he knew of Brianna and had given her enough in the parcel to lead her to the graveyard and find Jamie’s gravestone.  So why didn’t he tell her?  What was the purpose of keeping this from her?  She reflected on Frank’s note to Briana and his reference to her father’s ‘proud heritage’.

 

 

 

> _I hope you can read it and understand your proud heritage. Please, just accept it and do not question it too much. I also hope you can forgive my predecessor, Jonathan Wolverton Randall, for the pain he caused your mother and father._

She stood and wiped her legs of the moist grass then wandered slowly back to Ellen’s car, which she had borrowed for the drive to the interview.  Her head was swimming with all that she and Jamie had discovered, the inheritance parcel, the seeming determination to ensure Brianna knew of her birth father and that he had suffered at the hands of Jonathan Randall.  Was Frank somehow trying to make amends for the wrongs of his ancestor? 

She decided to stop at a coffee shop and have a bite to eat with her coffee.  She needed to clear her head before she drove back to _Lallybroch._ She thought she would share all this with Ellen and Roger, both history buffs.  Perhaps they could find some underlying reason for all this – if there was one.  As Roger had said the first time they met: _It’s almost like leaving someone a riddle._

When she arrived back at _Lallybroch,_ Jamie was still out tending to the sheep.  Ellen was keen to hear how her interview had gone, but Claire was more interested in telling her about locating the grave and finding her and Jamie’s names on it.

Ellen was as puzzled as her: “Do ye think he did it for ye or Brianna?  Or possibly as a historian who liked everything to be ‘just so’?  I’m surprised no-one in the Fraser clan has heard or spoken of it” she said with a slight frown.

“I honestly have no idea, Ellen.  Perhaps I should read through the pages Frank left for Brianna again to see if there is a clue I didn’t pick up on at the first reading” Claire replied as she heard Jamie arrive back on his horse.  He headed for the stables to wipe the horse down and feed it before returning to the house for a bite to eat.  As they chatted about Claire’s interview and visit to Edinburgh, Ellen entered the room looking inspired: “Claire, did ye ask what was written on the old gravestone?  The one Frank replaced?”

“No, I didn’t think to ask.  I was in shock when I saw the words Frank had engraved on the new stone.  Maybe I should ask”, Claire suggested.

“We’ll have to go back to the kirkyard tomorrow”, Ellen told her emphatically.  “I canna wait to find out.  This will gnaw at me all night.”

Jamie laughed and put his arm around Claire’s shoulders: “Dinna argue wi’ her Claire.  Ma is like a dog wi’ a bone.  Once she’s made up her mind to pursue it, nothing will get in her way.  Let’s all go for a drive tomorrow and see what we can find out."

They ate well that night and Claire told them about her interview for a locum position at the Royal Edinburgh Infirmary.  She would cover for a doctor going on maternity leave if she was appointed.  It was a bit of a drive every day, but it would give her the opportunity to establish herself as a doctor in Scotland.

The following morning, Ellen was up making breakfast early.  She was chomping at the bit to get to Greyfriars Kirkyard and find out what she could about the original gravestone on Jamie’s grave.  She also wanted to find out if the original gravestone was still intact.  Her love of Fraser history was urging her on.

When they arrived at the kirkyard, Claire took them directly to the gravestone Frank had funded. 

“It’s pretty dull.  Nothing illustrious about that”, Ellen observed.  “Bit like Frank himself really.”

Jamie threw his head back and laughed: “Ma, we ken ye’re no’ a member of Frank’s fan club but Claire was married to the man.”

Claire smiled at them both, Ellen looking remorseful and Jamie mildly scolding her, and changed the subject: “I’ll show you where the office is.”

The information they wanted was older and more difficult to find.  Each of them was given a pile of records to peruse and sat down to find any reference to _Alexander Malcolm._ It was Ellen who finally found a record of the original gravestone: _Here lies Alexander Malcolm.  Husband of Laoghaire._

“Who was Laoghaire?” Ellen asked aloud.

It was Jamie who recalled the words of Denzell:

 

 

 

> _Your second marriage was brief and unhappy.  It seems you didn’t marry out of love but under pressure from others who thought it would help you get over your first wife, which it didn’t.  You made reference to marrying to appease your sister, Jenny, in particular._

Claire added: “My word, Jamie was a bigamist.  He didn’t know Claire was alive when he married again.  Effectively, Laoghaire wasn’t his wife because his first wife was still alive.  Frank worked that out and changed the stone to reflect that.  That’s remarkable.”

Jamie scratched his head: "Which brings us back to the perpetual question, Claire.  Why?"


	24. Solving the riddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire, the Frasers and the MacKenzies put their heads together to solve the riddle left by Frank.

 

 

 

 

 

Ellen invited Brianna and Roger to lunch the following weekend.  She was an amateur history buff, but Roger had studied history and she wanted his opinion on what may have motivated Frank to leave so many pieces of random information for them to piece together.

As they ate, Roger asked Claire: “Would ye say Frank was fastidious in his study of history?  Did he pay very careful attention to detail?”

“To the point of being obsessive”, Claire responded.  “He would spend hours on what I considered to be an unimportant, minute detail.  I would sometimes avoid disturbing him when he was on the track of something he saw as important because he couldn’t bear to be distracted.”

“Ye see, I dinna think Frank approached this as just a personal or family issue, at least not at first.  To him, history had to be as accurate as possible.  It had to be based on evidence and logical thought, not on specious theory.   He saw Red Jamie and the Jacobite cause as an important part of Scottish history.  When he found that chest in the family home and what Jonathan Randall had been up to, then it became personal too.  I think he knew his ancestor had been involved in torturing Jamie and when he found out that Jamie’s child had been raised in his family, he wanted to somehow put things right.  He wanted her to know _her_ history.  He left the inheritance parcel for Brianna, but the gravestone was a problem.  If Brianna had gone in search of evidence of her birth father, she might have seen the gravestone and think Jamie couldna have been her father because his wife’s name was Laoghaire, so he decided to replace the gravestone and show that Claire was his real wife and the mother of his child.  The historian in him couldna leave anything to chance.”

Ellen looked at him with a broad smile: “Roger, ye do have the mind of a historian.  I think ye’ve got into Frank’s mind and seen it from his perspective.  I didna like the man, as you know, but I do believe he wanted to be sure Brianna’s family would find what they needed to know.”

Jamie agreed and added: “And if Brianna didna find out, Jem and Mandy may have been able to follow the track of the parcel and the gravestone.”

Brianna said with some emotion: “Daddy may not have been my birth father, but he was the father I grew up with, and I know he loved me. I think he was planning to tell me more but was prevented by his death in the car accident.  If I’d died before this Frank, the parcel would almost certainly have gone to my children and they could have found out about _their_ Fraser heritage.  Ma, I think he didn’t tell ye because he knew ye’d go looking and the more ye discovered, the more likely ye were to leave him.  Do ye think?”

“Well, I suppose that’s plausible”, Claire said thoughtfully.  “He did try to get me to America just before he died.  If he hadn’t died, and I hadn’t met and fallen in love with Jamie, I could have been across the Atlantic.  Roger, I think you might have solved the riddle.  Frank wanted Brianna and her children to know, but not while he was still alive.  Mandy was right.”

“But he couldn’t have known about metempsychosis”, Ellen said.

They sat in silence considering this until Claire threw her arms in the air: “Is it possible that Frank was reincarnated too?  That the Frank who raised you was reincarnated in order to ensure you or your children found out about your heritage Brianna?  For all his strange ways, it’s clear Frank was determined to see that you got all this information.  After all, Jamie and I returned to live the lives we should have lived in the past – maybe Frank returned to see through what his ancestor didn’t because of his premature death.”

Roger explained: “Aye, well there is a belief in some religions that reincarnation may occur when certain important threads in our lives are not completed in a single lifetime. Rather, they can carry over from life to life until ye achieve what it is ye set out to do, even as obscured as they may be by the dramas encountered along the way.

When we are unable to complete a thread, it becomes unfinished business that our souls must undertake in other lives. It’s as if in undertaking the quest we have built in an obsessive-compulsive disorder to make sure we finish it. And when we can’t, it becomes so deeply embedded in our psyche — albeit subconsciously — that finding peace becomes well-nigh impossible until that thread is tied off and our business completed.  Ye agreed Frank was fastidious Claire, so it fits with his personality.”

“Everything ye say is believable Roger, given what we have learned about Jamie and Claire with the help of Denzell. And when he saw that portrait of Lord and Lady Broch Tuarach, he somehow realised that the likeness was so extraordinary it couldn’t be a coincidence”, Ellen said with conviction. 

“If only I’d read Frank’s tea leaves while he was here!” Ellen added.

Jamie laughed: “Christ, we’ve gone full circle and back to tasseography.  Next thing, ye’ll be wanting to read Roger and Brianna’s tea leaves.”

A split second later, Jamie knew he had inadvertently invited Ellen to pursue her great love – tasseography.  Sure enough, before they could have dessert Ellen was boiling the kettle and making a large pot of tea – loose tea.  Jamie was wishing he hadn’t suggested it.

Claire took Brianna aside and spoke to her quietly: “I believe that any father who truly loved his child, be they their natural child or not, would want them to know where they were from.  You obviously believe the Frank you knew truly loved you, don’t you?”

“Without doubt Ma.  I see the love ye and Jamie have and had and I know it’s very different to the parents I knew, but I have no doubt Daddy loved me and would want the best for me.  I’m glad I’ll be able to visit my birth father’s grave.  It will somehow feel like the end of a long journey to understanding myself and my parents – all of them.”  The two women embraced, having found an even deeper understanding of their past.

Ellen was soon urging Brianna and Roger to drink their tea so she could read their tea leaves.  Clearly, she was hoping for something exciting and looked a tad disappointed when their readings showed nothing unusual.  “Thank goodness for that”, Jamie sighed much to his mother’s annoyance.

They agreed that they should visit the stones at Craigh na Dun and Greyfriars Kirkyard in the coming month, and Brianna invited Ellen to spend an afternoon at the Manse in Inverness.  The sense of family grew with every meeting.


	25. 'The Sandringham Fortune'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A most unexpected letter from Frank's solicitor has Claire's mind racing.
> 
> (Please note that this is a variation on canon.)

 

 

 

 

On Monday of the following week, Claire received a letter from Frank’s solicitor in London.  She sat down in the library and tore the envelope open.  She was glad she was seated when she read the letter:

 

 

 

 

> _Dear Mrs Randall_
> 
> _As I informed you when you visited my office after the death of your husband, Dr Frank Randall, I am in the process of liquidating the assets he left to you in his will._
> 
> _At this stage, I enclose a cheque for £887,630.  Details of the assets sold are in the attached schedule.  I will send the proceeds from other assets as and when they become available._

Claire let out an audible questioning grunt in shock.  How on earth had Frank managed to amass such a fortune?  And there was more to be sent later?  She read the letter again and looked at the cheque to be sure she wasn’t mistaken – she wasn’t.  She made herself a pot of tea (always the solution to a sudden shock) and sat in a comfortable chair in the library sipping from the cup, refilling it and considering what she should do.

When Jamie returned from the stables, he found her still looking a little stunned: “Are ye alright Sassenach?” he asked with a quizzical look.

She handed him the letter and watched as his jaw dropped.  He flopped down in a chair facing her: “Christ Claire, how did a historian manage to build up all this wealth?  Did ye have no idea?”

“I can honestly say I had absolutely no idea whatsoever.  And it seems there’s more to come.  Admittedly we didn’t own real estate but it’s still … incredible.”  They had always lived well, but she and Frank were certainly not frivolous with their money.  Frank had always insisted they maintain separate bank accounts and now she knew why.  Yet again, she wondered if she’d been married to a virtual stranger.

“What will ye do with all this?” Jamie asked, holding up the cheque and letter.

“I’ve no idea.  But I suppose I needn’t be concerned if I don’t get the job in Edinburgh” she laughed.

Jamie began reading through the schedule: “Claire, have ye read this schedule?”

“No, I was more concerned with the initial shock.  Why?” she answered.

“Frank had large amounts of gold, silver, coins and precious gems which have been sold.  Do ye know where they came from?” Jamie asked.

“No, let me look”.  Jamie passed her the schedule. She began reading the list:

  1. “Gold (10 avoirdupois pounds) – value £149,276.
  2. 24 Ancient coins (silver tetradrachm - 10 with dual faces **) –** value £31,200. 
  3. 13 Scottish sapphires – value £250,000.



And there’s more and more.  Where could Frank have got these from?  He couldn’t afford to buy these surely?” 

Claire’s head was spinning.  “And what does avoirdupois and tetradrachm even mean?”

She and Jamie logged on to their iPads and began their searches.

Jamie found _avoirdupois pound_ first: “a measurement system of weights which uses pounds and ounces as units. It was first commonly used in the 13th century and was updated in 1959” he read out.  “So, that gold was older than Frank himself.  It could be hundreds of years old.”

Claire then looked up _tetradrachm:_ “the silver tetradrachm came from Athens, Greece and dates around 393 to 350 BC.  Some had a single face and others were dual face.  The dual face tetradrachm is the most valuable.”

She and Jamie looked at one another in surprise: “Christ, do ye think Frank stole these Claire?  But he was so … straight!” Jamie exclaimed.

Ellen walked into the library as they were debating the source of Frank’s treasure.  Jamie looked up and asked: “Ma, which island can Scottish Sapphires be found on?”

“The Isle of Harris, in the Outer Hebrides.  But it was proclaimed a special protected site about 30 years ago so ye canna take any.  Why are ye asking?” Ellen replied.

“Come.  Look at this”, Claire asked pointing at the schedule.

Ellen’s eyes opened wide as she read the schedule.  “My word.  And Frank left ye all this?”

“Yes, but his solicitor has sold these assets and sent me the proceeds in a cheque.  The big question is: where the hell did Frank get all this from?”

Ellen stood in deep thought, and then approached the library ladder.  She pushed it along the shelves and climbed a few steps.  Her finger ran along a row of leather-bound books until she found a very old book: _The Sandringham Fortune._ Claire was impressed at Ellen’s encyclopaedic knowledge of the books in the Lallybroch Library.  She flitted through the pages of the book, found what she was looking for, then read aloud to them:

 

 

 

 

> _The most interesting rumour at the time was that the Duke of Sandringham had acquired gold, precious gems and coins belonging to what had become known as ‘the Silkies’ treasure’. The treasure was purportedly purchased by the Duke of Sandringham in 1745. It is said that when Sandringham died, the widow of a former British officer bought the Duke’s collection from his heirs in 1746, including a collection of rare tetradrachms._ _The tetradrachm coin was struck to commemorate the battle fought at Amphipolos, and the founding of a city on the site of the battlefield._ _There were, it is said, ten of the tetradrachms with the twin heads of Alexander, which were the most precious coins in Sandringham’s collection.  The remaining tetradrachms had a single head. The authenticity of this rumour remains in question, as the entire collection has not been sighted for more than a century._

Ellen returned to the inside cover of the book: “This book is dated 1853.  It appears the collection has seen the light of day 166 years later.  I would very much like to know how the solicitor sold it, and to whom.  It would seem that Frank found a lot more than the pearl bracelet and yer old clothing in that chest Claire.  Although how the widow of Jonathan Randall could have afforded such a collection is a mystery.  Perhaps she had information the Duke's family wanted to keep secret.  The Duke of Sandringham was a duplicitous old bastard from what I've read.”

“I’ve heard ye mention ‘the Silkies’ treasure’ in the past, Ma.  What is it?” Jamie asked.

“The Silkies' Isle is one of three small islands off the coast of Coigach, at the far north of Scotland.  It’s said that a treasure was hidden on the island and that it had some connection to the MacKenzies, but again much of that has been unsubstantiated rumour.  If there were any truth, it has been lost over time” Ellen replied.

“It seems incredible that items of such value have been hidden away for so long”, Claire said.  “In a way, I don’t feel right about accepting the money, but I do wonder if I could do something good with it.  I’d like to give that some serious thought.  If the proceeds can be used to achieve something of value to mankind, I don’t really care so much about where they came from”, she told them.

“I like that idea Sassenach.  A fortune sitting in a chest for hundreds of years hasna achieved anything if it’s no' used for good.  I agree”, Jamie said kissing her cheek.

“So do I, Claire.  Ye canna take it with ye”, Ellen smiled.  “To think Sandringham and others died wi’ a fortune hidden away seems quite ridiculous to me.”

Claire was to receive inspiration on what to do with her new-found wealth a little sooner than she thought.


	26. The way forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire identifies a use for her inheritance and sees the direction her life is taking.
> 
> (I hope this chapter is easily read - I haven't been too well this week.)

 

 

 

 

 

They’d arranged to meet at Greyfriars Kirkyard – Claire, the Frasers and the Mackenzies.  New to the group was Mandy’s partner, Angus, and their daughter, Elspeth.  The little girl was unwell again, so they had decided to visit Craigh na Dunn another day.

Claire and Jamie were mesmerized by their great granddaughter. The little girl had the Fraser red hair, like Jamie and Jem.  She was a bit small for her age, almost elf-like.  Her father’s nickname for her was Elfpeth, or just plain Elf.

Claire, Ellen and Brianna had brought bunches of flowers to go on to the grave.  Brianna was particularly emotional.  This was the grave of the father she had never known, although that would be difficult to explain outside their small gathering.

From Frank’s notes, they had learned that the fire had been at the print shop in Carfax Close, so they decided to walk there to look at the area.  Their walk took in the Royal Mile, Canongate Tollbooth and the White Horse Tavern – all of which were there at the time of the fire and gave their walk some sense of the place and time in which Jamie (known as Alexander Malcolm by then) had lived.

During the walk, Claire noticed that wee Elspeth would complain of aching legs.  Her mother and father would lift her and carry her for stretches of the walk.  Claire asked a few discrete questions of Mandy and then spoke to Brianna: “Has Elspeth been diagnosed with any heart problems that you’re aware of?”

“Aye, her doctor has monitored her for a heart murmur” Brianna replied.

“And has Mandy had heart problems?” Claire asked.

“Aye, she had a similar problem, but it was resolved.  Why do ye ask?” Brianna said with some concern.

“Do you think Mandy would feel alright with me checking Elspeth and arranging to meet with her doctor?  I believe she may need an echocardiogram.  It’s an ultrasound of the heart that provides information about the structure and function of the heart, valves and related vessels.  It takes a little while, but it can reveal a lot”, Claire told her.

“That’s a wee bit frightening Ma.  Maybe have a chat with Mandy and Angus while I take Elspeth to the playground” she suggested.

It became clear to Claire as she spoke to Angus and Mandy that the heart issue had been raised before, but that services were patchy and a bit difficult to access.  Finally, Claire suggested that she and Mandy take Elspeth to London where Joe could check her out.  They could make it a holiday for the little girl at the same time.  Claire had suspicions about the little girl’s condition, and if there was anyone she trusted and who had the expertise to assess her it was Joe.

As she and Mandy began to investigate Elspeth’s condition, it became obvious to Claire that accessing paediatric cardiology services was difficult.  The shortage of trained specialists caused delays that concerned Claire.  It was the catalyst for her hatching a plan for the inheritance Frank had left her.

The trip to London revealed two important things.  Firstly, Elspeth had a condition known as aortic coarctation, which results in a reduced pulsation in the groin and leg arteries due to the fact that blood pressure is dampened and lower beyond the coarctation or indentation of the aorta. Put simply, Elspeth’s circulation was hampered by an indentation or narrowing of the aorta, which made her tired.  It was operable and Joe could do the surgery.

But there was another important revelation – Joe and Gail were tiring of life in London.  It was too busy, crowded and expensive and not necessarily where they wanted to bring up a family.  Gail was clucky.

Claire’s mind was working rapidly as she, Mandy and Elspeth returned on the sleeper train back to Edinburgh – part of the excitement of the trip for the little girl.  If she and Joe could open a practice in Edinburgh, she could offer scholarships to graduates who wanted to train in areas of need, such as advanced radiography, in the hope they would settle in the area.  It would mean that families could access all the services they needed without having to travel between practitioners with sick children.  Joe was keen.  So was Gail.  Claire was excited.

Brianna picked up Mandy and Elspeth from the station, while Jamie was waiting for Claire.  As Jamie drove her home, Claire told him about their week in London and Joe's confirmation of her suspicions about Elspeth.  She promised to tell him about her ideas after they'd eaten dinner.

Jamie listened intently as Claire excitedly told him her initial plans that evening.  He didn’t say a word, he listened with a smile on his face until she stopped and looked at him: “What’s so funny?” she asked.

“It’s no’ funny Sassenach.  I love yer energy and enthusiasm.  And ye’ve always wanted to heal people, care for them and all that.  It’s something I’ve loved about ye for a very long time.  It’s a wonderful idea.  It’ll benefit the family and I think it’s a great way to use the money.  Even Frank would likely approve, given that Brianna’s daughter and granddaughter will benefit from it.  Come here” he beckoned.

Claire sat on the couch next to him.  His long arm reached around her shoulders: “It’s just I’m wondering when we might fit in a wedding Sassenach.  I told ye a while ago that I wanted to marry ye when ye were free and ye’ve been free a while now.  And then there’s the small matter that ye’ve been in London for days and ye havena been in our bed.  I would very much like to kiss ye all over.  And I mean _all_ over.”

Claire snuggled into his chest: “Hmm, I like the sound of all of that.  You know, sometimes I forget that we’re not married in this life.  We just feel so together.  But yes, I have neglected you a bit and the idea of being kissed all over is very appealing.  What do you want to do first?  Talk about a wedding or join me in bed?” she asked him with an endearing smile.

“Oh, I think ye know the answer to that” he said lifting her from the couch and heading for the stairs.  She giggled as he carried her up the stairs and pushed the door open with his foot.  He laid her face down on the bed, pulled off her skirt and knickers and began kissing up her legs. His hands were holding her buttocks and his head was suddenly between her legs, his tongue licking her as he held her hips and she groaned with delight.  He rolled her over, unzipped her blouse and kissed her stomach and breasts as he entered her forcefully and pushed her legs upward so he could penetrate deep.  Her whole body was responding to his desperate need and she repeatedly muttered his name.

“I mean to make ye _scream_ my name Claire.  Christ, I missed ye.”  He came rushing into her, then kissed her long and hard.  They were both breathing heavily and quite exhausted.

Jamie rolled on to his back, running his fingers through his hair.  Claire noticed a few tears roll down his face: “Jamie, are you alright?  What’s the matter?”

“I canna believe how much I missed ye Claire.  It’s no’ just taking ye to bed, it’s having ye here to talk to.  To say anything that comes into my mind without ye judging me, because ye never do”.  He rolled towards her.  “Ye’re part of me and when ye’re not here, I’m incomplete.”  His stunning blue eyes glistened with the remaining tears as he looked at her with such love that she felt a slight pain in her chest.  God, he was beautiful, she thought.

Claire ran her hand gently down his face and wiped away one last tear: “I love you Jamie.  I’ve loved you for over 200 years.  I just needed to find you again.  And now I have, I’m here until I breathe my last breath.”


	27. Sprog

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those who sent me best wishes. It was much appreciated.
> 
> As we come close to the end of this tale, Jamie and Claire see the opportunity to live the life they had hoped to live over 200 years before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next six months were frantically busy.  Claire gained support from the medical fraternity in the Edinburgh area, found suitable premises for the practice she would share with Joe and arranged for work to be done to modify it.  She liaised with the University to offer scholarships and recommend graduates, and with the hospitals they would support and who she needed to support them.

Once work had begun on the medical premises, Joe and Gail found a home close by and began preparing for their move to Scotland.

Jamie became concerned that Claire was burning the candle at both ends, and finally she fell in a heap.  Ellen came to the fore, insisting that Claire remain in bed while she fed her meals and cups of tea.  Jamie would come home each day for lunch and then return to the farm knowing Claire was in good hands.

On the fourth day of nursing Claire, Ellen sat on the bed looking serious as Claire struggled to down a piece of toast with tea for breakfast: “Claire, you’ve spent so much time considering the care of others that ye havena analysed yer own symptoms have ye?” she smiled.

“What symptoms?”, Claire replied with a puzzled look.

“Well, so far ye’ve made reference to fatigue, drifting off to sleep at any time of day, mild cramping, bloating, morning sickness – are you with me yet?” Ellen grinned.

Claire’s eyes opened wide: “I don’t think so Ellen.  If I were pregnant I’d know, I’m sure I would.”

Ellen stood and placed her hands on her hips: “Well Claire, I’m driving into Broch Mordha to get a pregnancy testing kit.  I think I’m gonna be a grandmother and if I am, I need to get knitting.”

Claire laughed: “Well, I think your knitting needles have got a bit more rest to do Ellen, but if it’ll keep you happy, I can wee on a stick.”

While Ellen was away, Jamie returned home for lunch: “Where’s Ma, Claire?”

“Gone to Broch Mordha”, Claire told him.

“What for?” he asked.

“I’m not sure”, Claire told him, doing her best to look and sound casual.

She didn’t see Jamie smile as he took a bite of his sandwich.  He and Ellen had put their heads together earlier that day and Ellen had shared her suspicions with her son.  He was quietly excited but didn’t let Claire know that.

After Jamie had returned to his farm work, Claire dozed off.  She woke to the sound of Ellen climbing the stairs with a tray of tea and biscuits – and a plain paper bag from the chemist.  Claire peeked in the bag.  Ellen had bought a pack of three digital dipsticks.  She raised her eyes to see Ellen sitting in the armchair in the corner of the bedroom: “No time like the present” Ellen commented.

Claire climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom while Ellen waited impatiently.  When she finally emerged, Claire held up the dipstick, which read in clear lettering PREGNANT.  She watched as Ellen’s face lit up and she clapped her hands: “I’m to be a grandma.  I canna wait to see Jamie’s face!” she exclaimed.  “Ye must be so excited Claire.”

Claire was silent, obviously deep in thought.  She finally spoke: “I’ve told hundreds of women they’re pregnant and seen a range of responses.  Now I’m the one to discover _I’m_ to have a child I have so many emotions I can’t begin to describe Ellen.  Part of me is excited while another part is terrified.  How do you think Jamie will feel?”

“Ye’ll find out soon enough.  I can hear his tractor heading towards the house” Ellen smiled.

Jamie opened the back door, kicked off his boots and headed up the stairs to see how Claire was.  Ellen and Claire stood shoulder to shoulder looking at him.  He looked from one face to the other: “Are you two plotting something?” he grinned.

Claire held up the dipstick to reveal the result of her pregnancy test and watched a wide smile appear on his face: “It really is a bairn?  Ye’re sure?”  He held out his arms to Claire and she walked into his embrace: “I have two more dipsticks if you want me to check, but I think we can be pretty confident.”

Ellen quietly left the room while the parents-to-be sat together taking in the reality of expecting a child. 

“Are you happy?” Claire asked.

“Aye, I am.  Verra happy”, Jamie declared as he gently ran his fingers over her belly.  “I wonder if it’s a wee lad or lass in there.”  He raised his eyes to meet Claire’s: “I dinna mind which it is.  It’s ours and we can have the chance to raise our child _together_.  We were denied that chance many years ago, but now we can do what we were meant to do then.  And Brianna willna be an only child.”

Jamie’s expression changed as he asked, with a look of concern: “But are ye happy Sassenach?  With all yer plans?  Ye’ve worked so hard.”

“Well, I’ve got at least six months to get things in place.  I can arrange a locum to support Joe and return to work once the baby is old enough.  What do you think about that?” Claire asked.

“I think ye’ll work it all out, as ye always do.  And ye know Ma will be over the moon and dying to help.  It’ll be fine”, he smiled.

Ellen was keen to tell everyone she ever knew that she was to be a Grandma, but Claire asked her to wait until she’d seen an obstetrician and an ultrasound scan was performed.

Several weeks later, Claire and Jamie were led into a small room by a sonographer.  As the sonographer placed some gel on Claire’s belly, Jamie sat looking intent and chewing his bottom lip.  The sonographer smiled as he seemed more nervous than Claire, and asked: “Have you waited a long time to see this?”

“Aye, I’ve endured over 200 years of purgatory”, Jamie replied.

The sonographer was taken aback until Jamie added: “’Tis just an old family saying.”

They watched on as the sonographer ran the probe over Claire’s abdomen: “There – you can see your baby’s working arm joints.  The cartilage and bones are forming.  The foetus’ vital organs are fully developed and they’re starting to function.”

She took some measurements and added: “You’re ten weeks into your pregnancy, Claire.  Everything is looking hunky dory.  I’ll process a few images so you can take them with you.  Congratulations Jamie, your extensive period of purgatory appears to be over.”

“Just one question”, Jamie asked.  “Can ye tell if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”

“Not yet.  By the 18th week, your doctor may be able to determine the sex of your baby if they are lying in a position that makes their genitals visible”, the sonographer replied.

“It doesna matter.  We’ll love him or her just the same”, he said with a wide grin.

When Claire was clothed, they walked towards the car with a few images each.  The undeniable evidence of the pregnancy was now in their hands, and they sat in the car taking in the details of their developing child.  Jamie took hold of Claire's hand: "Thank ye Sassenach" he smiled.

"Thanks for what?" she asked. 

"For having my bairns.  Ye'll be a wonderful mother, I just know it" he replied.


	28. Renewal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this story. I can't believe it began as a one shot!
> 
> When I wrote the final word, I knew that was the point at which to finish. I hope you agree.
> 
> I will continue writing 'Resistance' while I think of what might follow. Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

 

When Joe rang to check out some details of the new practice, Claire nervously told him about her pregnancy.  She thought he might be shocked, given the plans they’d made.

“So, when’s the baby due?” Joe asked.

“August 28th”, Claire replied.  She was surprised to hear Joe laugh.

“Gail’s due on August 24th” Joe replied.  “We just beat you and Jamie to it.”

Claire was delighted: “Wow.  Congratulations to all of us.  When did you find out?”

“We got a clear indication of the date two days ago.  That’s kinda why I was ringing.  I wanted to work out if I could keep around that time free.  Sounds like we’re all going to be otherwise occupied.  It’ll be fine.  The practice will be up and running by then and we can keep our diaries as free as possible in advance.  But we’re gonna need a locum anyway Claire.”  He sounded so happy and Claire was delighted to know that Joe and Gail’s baby would grow up with their child.

There was another phone call she needed to make, but it was to make a time to meet.  She and Jamie wanted to announce the pregnancy to Brianna and her family in person.  They arranged a time, but she gave no indication of their news.

When they arrived at the Manse, Bree was busy in the kitchen preparing lunch with the help of Mandy.  Wee Elspeth, looking so much more energetic than she had, was building a village from Lego with the help of her doll, Esmeralda.  Roger was collecting more wood for the large open fire in the lounge.  It was a picture of domesticity.

After Roger had said grace, Jamie could contain himself no longer: “We’ve got some exciting news” he announced with a wide smile and a glint in his bright blue eyes.

“Ye’re getting married?” Mandy asked in anticipation.

“Well, that too I suppose - eventually”, Jamie replied.  “But … Claire ye tell them.”

“I’m expecting a baby in August.  A wee Fraser is currently gestating”, Claire told them as she ran her hand over her belly.

Before Brianna could say a word, Mandy looked at her and squealed: “Ma, ye willna be an only child anymore!”  Mandy was quickly distracted by Elspeth: “Mama, when we have a baby?  I want a baby for _ages_ and you just say ‘later’.”

All eyes turned to Mandy, who replied: “We’ll talk about it later.”

Elspeth looked at her mother: “See?  Later.”

Attention returned to Claire. 

“Tell us when ye found out and what yer plans are.” 

“What about the practice?  Does Joe know?”

The questions and answers flew around the table as they ate.

It was Roger who brought up the subject of marriage again: “Ye know, if ye do choose to get married, I can perform the ceremony.  It could be here or anywhere else ye might choose.  Just thought I’d mention it.”

“Aye, we’ll need to think about that” Jamie said thoughtfully.  "Claire said she doesna want wedding photos to show her baby bump."

“Well, ye were married when ye had me Ma.  It’s just a shame ye were married to my father who was 200 years away.  Now ye can make up for all of that.  I’m particularly happy for ye Jamie.  Ye were robbed of my childhood and now I can watch on as ye enjoy yer bairn, my sibling”, Brianna told him with a gentle smile.  Jamie rose from his chair and embraced her: “I canna wait to share this bairn with ye.”

Sharing was a word Elspeth knew: “I share too.  We borrow your baby?” she asked.  She was nothing if not persistent.

Mandy looked at her laughing and said: “Later.”

Elspeth raised her arms in annoyance: “Not say that!”

As Claire organised the dirty dishes, Bree sidled up to her: “Jamie is _really_ excited, isn’t he?  How about Ellen?”

Claire laughed: “Ellen is madly knitting as we speak.  She could not be more excited.  I suspect I won’t have to organise very much as she is revelling in all aspects of being a grandmother before the baby’s even born.”

“Mandy still has all Elspeth’s baby clothes and some other goodies which she just said you can have too.  Just don’t tell Elf!” Brianna warned.

After their meal and coffee, Claire and Jamie bade farewell to the MacKenzies.  Brianna promised to visit them regularly and asked that they keep her up to date with the pregnancy.

The following months were busy.  Joe and Gail moved to their new home in Edinburgh, the renovations were completed at the practice, and Claire and Gail both grew larger.  Claire gradually reduced the hours she worked until beginning her maternity leave eight weeks before the baby was due.  She ran an orientation programme for the locum she and Joe had employed in the final week of work, planning to return when the baby was roughly nine months old.

As she grew larger and more tired, Claire was happy to spend pre-baby time with Ellen and Jamie.  Her ‘nesting’ urge was strong.  She prepared a nursery for the baby with the help of Ellen.  She wanted to resist the urge to use disposable nappies all the time, so she folded cloth nappies and placed them by the change table.  Little jumpsuits and pyjamas arrived in boxes courtesy of Mandy and the pile of knitted baby clothes made by Ellen continued to grow.  Jamie watched on and wondered if this was how Claire had been when she was pregnant with Brianna. 

Claire had been waiting on news of Gail when she woke in the early hours realising that her waters had broken.  There was a dull pain in her lower back that came and went.  Her joints somehow felt loose and her body began to cramp.  Baby Fraser was making an early entrance to the world.  A week early.

She woke Jamie, who was at first bleary eyed and then shot out of bed and began frantically dressing.  They had planned to call for an ambulance, but Claire felt sure it could take too long: “I think you’d better get a few towels and a blanket.  We’ll need to go to hospital in the car” she gasped.  As Jamie half-carried her down the stairs, Ellen had woken and was organising towels, a blanket, a hot water bottle and a bottle of fresh water.  Jamie reclined the passenger seat and they were on their way with Claire adopting the patterned breathing behaviour she had demonstrated so often to her patients.  As the contractions intensified, she understood how much more difficult it was to adopt a calm, dignified stance during birth than she’d realised.  She didn’t realise that Ellen was in her car, following them to the hospital.  Ellen wasn’t taking any chances with this precious grandchild.

As they pulled into the emergency area at the maternity hospital, there was a flurry of activity.  Claire was placed on a stretcher trolley and quickly taken to a delivery suite.  Jamie had read up on what to expect but sat next to Claire realising that nothing could have prepared him for this moment of fear, excitement and anticipation.  Outside the delivery room, Ellen was on the phone to Brianna, who was with Mandy in Edinburgh.  They were on their way.

Inside the delivery room, Claire was concerned that the baby wasn’t full term.  It wouldn’t be considered premature as she was 38-39 weeks but it was still a little early or pre-term.  Soon her mind was only on the contractions, which were coming closer and closer together.  Jamie was amazed that anyone’s body could take such pressure.  He talked her through the contractions as he watched the monitor, fed her ice chips when she was hot and bothered and massaged her shoulders.

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor asked Jamie to support Claire’s shoulders so he could help her while she pushed.  Her primal screams reached a crescendo just as the doctor smiled: “The baby’s crowning.  You’re close Claire.”  Minutes later the baby emerged, and moments after that she gave her first cry. 

“Christ Claire, I dinna know how ye did that but this baby is perfect”, Jamie said with eyes full of tears.

“Tell me what you can see Jamie”, Claire said as she laid back a little and relaxed.

“Well, there are tufts of reddish hair.  Ten fingers and ten toes.  Healthy lungs for sure and ye’re about to see for yerself”, Jamie said as the nurse handed Claire their baby daughter in a loose towel.

As she caught sight of her baby girl for the first time, Claire felt Jamie kiss the top of her head and slip a pillow beneath it.  He moved next to her and held her and their child.  Both of them were overcome with emotion: “Oh Jamie, she’s perfect – like you” Claire cried.

As they admired their child, the delivery team were at work cleaning up the placenta and preparing for Claire to be placed in a normal bed.  Half an hour later, Jamie was told Ellen, Brianna and Mandy could see Claire and the baby.  They all entered the room looking a little anxious, until they saw Claire beaming and holding baby Fraser.  Each of them sat in the chair by the bed and took turns holding the baby, Mandy being the last.

As she held her, Mandy began to cry.  Brianna smiled: “Do you think Elspeth will like this one?  Why are you crying?”

Mandy looked at Claire and Jamie: “I need to tell ye something I canna explain but I know to be true.”

Jamie was puzzled: “What is it Mandy?”

“This child is Faith”, she said snivelling.

“You think we should call her Faith?” Claire asked.

“Aye I do, but not because it’s a nice name.  This _is_ Faith.  She’s come back to live the life she never had.  She’s an old soul in a new body.  She’s the reason ye both came back” Mandy told them all.

Ellen squeezed Jamie’s hand: “Metempsychosis.”


End file.
